


500 Days of Midsummer

by Muze



Category: Sanditon (TV 2019)
Genre: 500 Days of Summer - Freeform, Alternate Universe - Time Travel, F/M, Fix It Fic, Time Travel, Time Travel Fix-It, but Charlotte has to work very hard for it
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-10-22
Updated: 2020-11-03
Packaged: 2021-03-09 04:20:23
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 5
Words: 24,728
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/27147928
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Muze/pseuds/Muze
Summary: When Charlotte Heywood makes a wish upon a star to be happy again, she is transported back to the day of the Midsummer Ball, the day she lost her chance at happiness. She wakes day after day on June 24th, doomed to repeat the fateful day until she gets it right and saves Sanditon. And everyone in it.
Relationships: Charlotte Heywood/Sidney Parker, Lord Babington/Esther Denham, Minor or Background Relationship(s)
Comments: 71
Kudos: 132





	1. The second Midsummer Ball

**Author's Note:**

> I think it's been done before, it's been a long time since I read Sanditon fics, and I barely ever read Sidlotte, but the idea got stuck in my head.

> _**"It has been said that time heals all wounds. I do not agree. The wounds remain. In time, the mind, protecting its sanity, covers them with scar tissue, and the pain lessens, but it is never gone."** _
> 
> _**\- Rose Kennedy** _

“It has been said, ‘time heals all wounds,’ I do not agree. The wounds remain. In time, the mind, protecting it’s sanity, covers them with scar tissue and the pain lessens.

During the day, life demands to be lived. During the night, emotions demand to be felt.

It had been like that for a month now. She managed to keep busy during the day, playing with her siblings, talking to friends and reading without taking a break to think. She worked harder than ever before, everything to keep the dark thoughts and all-consuming anguish at bay. She avoided poets like the plague, they understood the aching throbbing hole in her chest too well and Charlotte feared any allusion to a similar feeling would unshackle the chains she’d wrapped around her heart to keep herself together.

Time had yet to heal her wounds.

‘That’s the Great Bear, right?’ Alison asked.

‘It’s the most recognisable constellation out there. You know it is’, Charlotte laughed.

‘Just breaking the silence, you’ve been staring at the sky for hours without saying a word.’

Charlotte had agreed to come out stargazing with Alison. Anything to not be alone with her thoughts. But they had snuck up on her again.

Was Georgiana staring at the same stars from her window?

What was Sidney doing underneath the same night sky?

‘We haven’t even been here for an hour.’

‘Were you thinking of them again?’

‘Is it that obvious? Always.’

‘I really wish things had been different for you’, Alison smiled sadly. She was the only one who knew. It had been so painful to share that at present at least, Charlotte couldn’t bear to do it twice. She hadn’t cried since she’d left the carriage, but she had when Alison asked how Charlotte had gone from writing she would soon have joyful news to share to arriving with a fake smile wobbling around the edges.

‘It couldn’t have been. That’s the whole tragedy of the thing, there’s nothing we could have done about it. Just plain old bad luck’, she gave her sister a sad smile.

‘Or perhaps there was, I don’t know. All could be different. I could be happy now, celebrating an engagement. But it’s useless to dwell on what-ifs. There is no turning back time.’

‘Then I wish you some good luck, Charlotte. You really deserve it. You will be happy again, in time’, Alison smiled.

‘That’s Cassiopeia over there, isn’t it?’ Alison asked trying to change the topic. She gave Charlotte enough opportunity to talk about it, but always steered the conversation away when she noticed Charlotte didn’t want to talk about it.

‘It is. And that’s Leo?’

‘What was the shape of Leo again?’

‘Underneath the Big Bear, it’s the one with Regulus in it.’

‘Ah… I think I see Regulus and another star underneath the Big Bear. What am I supposed to see?’

‘It’s shaped like a horse’, Charlotte explained, crawling closer to her sister so they lay next to each other.

‘It starts there, you see, with the big one over there.’

‘That’s the head?’

‘The arse’, Charlotte laughed.

‘Big bright arse it is’, Alison teased.

And then you can follow it to that one, the first visible one underneath Big Bear. And then you follow that line so, and then it goes up over there. You see that?’

‘Mhm. And what about the bright one there?’

‘That’s Algiebus. That’s the neck. So then it goes like that’, Charlotte explained as she stretched her arm to draw lines between the stars. Her finger went down. ‘Right down to Regules, its front paw.’

‘And then we go back like so-‘

Charlotte drew her finger to the left, past stars, and then her finger went down to draw the leg. But her finger hadn’t reached the end of the paw or something drew their united attention to the left.

A dot of white raced through the sky, appearing at once slow and fast.

‘Oh my God, did you see that?’

A star.

A falling star.

‘We need to make a wish!’ Alison cried, shaking her older sister’s shoulder.

Charlotte nodded, closing her eyes.

_I wish to be happy again. The sooner the better._

They went to bed not long after, hoping for a better day.


	2. A second Midsummer Night's Ball

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Charlotte wakes up on the night of the midsummer night's ball and needs to sort out just what is happening to her. She soon realizes that her actions change the day's events.

> **“I wish it need not have happened in my time," said Frodo.  
>  "So do I," said Gandalf, "and so do all who live to see such times. But that is not for them to decide. All we have to decide is what to do with the time that is given us.”   
>  ― J.R.R. Tolkien, The Fellowship of the Ring **

Charlotte startled awake by a knocking on the door. 

Odd, no one knocked i n the house. The only time someone had knocked on her door had been in – 

‘Miss, are you up?’

Sanditon.

Her eyes sprang open, t aking in the desk, dresser and high ceiling.  There was no sign of Alison’s bed, Charlotte’s trunks or Alison’s baskets of knitting material.

No no no. 

This couldn’t be happening. 

Just yesterday she’d gone out hunting, fishing , had cooked the aforementioned fished fish and gone stargazing with her sister. 

She jumped out of bed.  There, in the distance, she could see the sea blending in with the pale morning sky.    


She was back. 

But that couldn’t be. O ne couldn’t travel in time. Time was linear.  Past, present, future, those three didn’t mingle. However if t hat was true, then how was she here?  The only other option was that she ha d a nightmare in which she’d dreamt the terrace Tom was building had gone up in flames, Sidney had engaged himself to Mrs. Campion, Esther had married and she had spent a month crying every night. A nightmare, really. 

But how could she explain the month of awful memories in her head? They didn’t feel like whisps of her imagination. It was etched into her memory in vivid heart aching detail. Dreams never stuck around. One might remember them when waking up, but before leaving the bed they already started slipping away like smoke. Even while focusing on them you could already feel them floating farther and farther. If someone remembered their dreams after those first fifteen minutes it was just a general feeling, or the gist of it. But she didn’t. She remembered sentences, expressions, clothes. 

‘Miss?’

‘I’m fine.’

‘Are you presentable?’

‘Yes.’

The door opened. 

‘I’ll help you.’

It was all too familiar. 

She needed proof. She needed some things to verify she had lived this day before.  Then, if upon examination she turned out to r emember this day correctly , she could rule out that her memories were the figments of her imagination. 

Then, whatever remained, however improbable, had to be the truth. 

Time travel. 

But first things first. 

‘What date are we a gain?’ Charlotte asked  as the maid helped her with her stays. 

Charlotte could see the maid’s eyes growing wide in the mirror.

‘Why, June 24th Miss, t he ball’s tonight. Remember?’ the maid asked in surprise.

‘The Midsummer Night’s Ball’, Charlotte muttered.

‘Yes indeed . ’

She’d awoken on the day of the fire. Oh dear. That meant. 

Sidney would fetch her in the afternoon and kiss her on the clifftops.

Sidney would almost ask her to marry and then the fire would st art.

Mr. Stringer would die. 

The Parkers would be ruined. 

She couldn’t go through that again. She just couldn’t. 

But she was going to, it might all still  have been a nightmare. 

Alright. What had happened on the twenty-fourth?

She had gone for a walk on the beach in the morning after having played with the children who demanded she play  Bucephalus while they play ed  Alexander and Hephaestion. 

After the beach she’d gone to Georgiana who had been wearing a white gown with a pink sash.  They’d talked about Sidney. She had  _ begged _ her to say she wasn’t in love with Sidney.  A s if Charlotte could just change her feelings because Georgiana begged.

And then… She’d gone home and had been sorting Tom’s files when Sidney arrived, asking if she’d walk with him.  And then the clifftop. And then the ball. The excitement. And then Arthur had come rushing in and all her hopes turned to ash in her mouth. The future she’d dared to hope of had quite literally gone up in flames. 

Another few things. What else? She remembered what the children wore. What Sidney said. And she, she’d been wearing a white dotted – 

‘This dress, miss?’ the maid asked, holding up the specific dress from her memories. 

Strike one. 

Charlotte swallowed and gave a short nod. 

Downstairs the children had already moved to the drawing room, so she had breakfast with Mary in peace.  No repeat, luckily.

She spent some time t alking to Mary. She’s missed her so much, even though technically, it had only been one night since she last saw her. 

‘The children have been racing through the house all morning, it’s a wonder you didn’t wake up.’

‘ I must have been t ired.’

‘Indeed, they made a mess of the place, leaving toys everywhere. To be young’, Mary sighed fondly, looking around the breakfast room. 

‘It looks pretty clean.’

‘I already cleaned a bit so it looks a bit more in order.  A mother’s job is always running one step after the children to clean up after them.’

‘But you are a wonderful mother.’

‘Thank you dear. That’s kind. But it does get tiring sometimes. I admit I rarely have the energy to clean up after the biggest child.’

‘Who?’

Mary ’s eyes glittered with h umour, her lips quirking up before the light in her eyes dimmed as she let out a sigh. 

‘Tom of course. I don’t know how he does it, but he’s made a mess of his office again.  And I understood you put things in order no t hree days ago? ’

‘I did.’

‘Sometimes I believe they see a clean room as an invitation to make a mess again. It’s  S ysyphus torture, we clean  only so it can get dirty again. ’

Charlotte laughed. Her mother had said things like that so many times. They’d always just laughed until they turned twelve and had to start helping their mother. Then they started noticing just how quickly rooms got dirty and cluttered again. Sometimes she too believed the little ones made a sport of getting rooms dirty again as soon as possible. 

‘I’ll sort his papers t his afternoon’, Charlotte heard herself promise. 

Strike two. 

‘ Will you get ready with some of your friends tonight, or here with us?’

‘Uhm, here I believe… but I did plan on seeing Georgiana this morning.’

‘Oh, well, you’ll have to hurry then’, Mary said as she pointed across the room. 

The clock indicated it w as almost eleven. 

‘That late already? I- I’ll go now. Then I’m back in time for lunch.’

‘Don’t cut it short o n our behalf dear, since there’s going to be a large buffet tonight we’ll only have some soup and sandwiches.’

‘Yes. Thank you.’

She’d said that the previous time  as well, only she’d said it before Charlotte left for her walk. 

She hopped outside and rushed across the square to Mrs. Griffiths house. As she waited to be let in, the sound of a horse passing drew her attention to over her shoulder. No sooner had the carriage passed th an she saw Sidney and Tom across the street entering the Parker House.

Strike Three. 

_ No concrete proof. Stay calm Charlotte.  _

The door was pulled open. 

‘Oh Miss Heywood, how g ood of you to come. She’s in her room, as always’, Mrs. Griffiths smiled, eyes filled with matronly worry for her moody charge. 

_ Please wear anything but white _ , Charlotte prayed as she walked upstairs. 

She knocked.

_ Please tell me everything I’ve dreamt tonight was a nightmare. I don’t want my memories to be true. I’m not sure I can go through it all a second time. _

‘Enter.’

The door creaked ominously as she pushed it open .  No sooner had her e yes adjusted to the dark room than she noticed Georgiana’s clear white dress with pink details.

Strike four.

‘Is something wrong? Charlotte? What is it?’

Charlotte shook her head. There could still be a way. It was just a dress, Charlotte had seen this one before. 

‘N-nothing’, she  stammered, p lastering a smile on her face. 

Georgiana would think her mad.

‘How are you?’ 

‘Could be better, could be worse’, the girl shrugged. 

‘Are you excited for the ball?’

‘Well there’s one less person trying to flirt me out of my inheritance but Sanditon is still Sanditon. I don’t give a fig about most people here.’

‘Hm.’

Charlotte’s mind was a clutter of thoughts, jumping from one idea to another in an attempt to connect the dots and figure it all out.  It just couldn’t be possible.

‘You’re really out of it , Charlotte. Are you sure you’re alright? You’re not getting ill, are you?’

‘N-no.  Perfectly fine, just… Distracted. T he ball and all, and well, there’s this paperwork of Tom and …’

‘I really don’t care about the Parkers.’

Right, that conversation.  It hadn’t happened yet. 

‘They’re not all bad.’

‘You’re right. Mary has no opinion and does nothing even when she should. Arthur is fine and Diana is just plain silly  living in her own little bubble.  It’s just the oldest two .’

‘Everyone has flaws. Y ou judge  S idney too harshly. Remember the kindness he's shown Otis. I believe he has a tenderness few people get to see. And I mean, he tried to save you, didn’t he?’ Charlotte said. She had repeated a sentence, but knowing that it ha dn’t gone down well the last time she decided to add more. 

‘I admit he had me confused. Saving me was… Whatever, saving me served his interests. If I’m not married, I’m still legally his possession.  Otis, that I don’t have an explanation for. But still, it doesn’t take away what he’s done in the past. The way he’s so impervious and bossy. Judging what is best for me without asking me for my opinion.’

‘It is one of his bad sides. Do you believe a person cannot change?’

That made Georgiana still.  Charlotte wondered whether she was entertaining the idea as the younger girl chewed her cheek. 

‘I’m not optimistic. But I want to believe it’s possible.  If I now say there’s no way a man can change, I stand no chance of happiness myself.’

‘How so?’

‘Can you keep a secret? Really this time.’

‘Georgiana I only broke my promise when I actually got worried. I never spoke o f your meeting or the letters or anything, and in my defence you  _ were _ in danger.’

Georgiana sighed but nodded. 

‘Otis wrote to me. He said he’s going to join the navy and better his wa ys, try and become a good man.’

‘Oh.’

‘So you see, I must believe that a man can change his ways. Otherwise, Otis and I are off.  He promised my money to people like I was something to be bargained with, something to  sell . He who has been used and sold should know what that feels like, yet he did that. To me. The one he claims to love. ’

Charlotte took hold of her hands.  Rubbing them comfortingly. 

‘I hope  for it a s well.’

Time after visiting Georgiana went fast. She was working away at Tom’s large cluttered desk when, without announcement, the door of Tom’s office was thrown open. Charlotte froze, locking eyes with Tom’s brown ones. 

‘H ard at work  C harlotte? Ah, the whole world wants to come to  S anditon, and just in time for the midsummer night's ball. ’

_ Strike five? _

The blood drained from her face. Her heart plummeting  as if it had turned lead. 

‘Y es ’, she muttered. 

She hoped there wouldn’t be a repeat. This was her last chance. If the next thing that happened was – 

Tom turned away from  her.

S idney! ’

It was happening. It was all happening and there was nothing she could do to stop it . She would have to go through the most wonderful moment of her summer, only to get everything she had started hoping for destroyed. 

‘Ah T om, those contracts have arrived from  L ondon. ’

‘A h excellent, I'll deal with them at once. ’

Sidney advanced towards the door, his towering dark figure so familiar it made her heart throb like a bruise. He looked just like she remembered.  It never would have hurt so much to see him again if it had only been a dream.  Together with all the coincidences she’d had today, there was little room for doubt unless she wilfully ignored the signs.

She had to face the  inconceivable truth. She had travelled through  time, and arrived back on the day of the ball.  Why, she didn’t know.

‘M iss  H eywood, I'm going for a walk and I wondered if there was anything you needed in town .’

Oh, his voice. 

Her heart skipped a beat.  No bowl of hot soup held a candle to how warm it made her feel on the inside.  She wanted to fling herself across the room and wrap her arms around him, never let him go. 

He coughed, raising his eyebrows.

Mortification flooded her  bloodstream, she’d been staring silently for too long. He was awaiting her answer. 

‘Oh i-ehm. I have a dress fitting for the ball. Perhaps I could walk with you?’

‘O f course, it'd be my pleasure. ’

‘C ome on then, off you go you two ’, Mary smiled, encouraging her towards Sidney. 

Charlotte paused. Did she know? She’d never paid attention to it before, but she got a hunch Mary knew, to at least some extent  that there was something between them. The blonde woman’s eyes twinkled as she watched them go, her smile slowly turning into a satisfied grin.

Charlotte didn’t know what to say as they left the house. He seemed so content, his gaze soft as they walked beside each other.  Why did no one else know what was going to happen? How come only she was brought back in time?  She had so many questions, and not a single answer.

The only thing she knew was that she was the only person aware of the future and that unless she acted differently, the day repeated itself entirely as it had the first time around. She’d seen it with Georgiana. Everyone said and did the same things, unless she acted in another way. 

But what did that mean?

Well, first and foremost it meant she would soon be kissed by Sidney Parker, unless she decided not to.  Her heart beat like mad. She clutched her hands together so he wouldn’t notice them shaking. She had reason to refuse , the kiss had haunted her for months, giving her a taste of heaven she’d never experience afterwards. 

She hadn’t been able to sleep, lips tingling due to a fantom  kiss. The sensory memory was fading, but the emotional mark remained. Even now she could still remember all the vibrant emotions he’d awoken in her at that moment .  If everything continued as it did  the first time, it could only end in heartache.

If she kissed him now, wouldn’t  the memory torment her longer? 

‘It is a pleasant day, is it not?’

His deep voice rumbled so pleasantly, it had an instantaneous effect on her body. She missed his voice. She missed him. Meeting him again was like tearing the bandage from a still bleeding wound. 

‘It is.’

‘ Tom is very excited for tonight. A lot of people are coming from all over.’

‘Including your friends?’ asked Charlotte as she forced herself to smile.

She even adored the way his eyebrows knit together when he had to share something unpleasant . His face was so animated, she couldn’t imagine how at one point she hadn’t been able to read him at all. 

‘Only Babington I’m afraid, Crowe left for London the day of the regatta and I doubt he’ll be back.’

‘He did not enjoy himself?’

His lips quirked at an amusing thought that crossed his mind. She felt her own mouth lift in accordance as well. Her body was so attuned to him, even after all this time. 

‘Perhaps he tried to save face after crashing his boat at the regatta ’, Sidney suggested. 

‘Once it happens there is no saving face, unless you manage to undo the past ’, Charlotte smiled.

Well that stung. She was here, possibly undoing the past. Could she? She had changed a conversation before. 

‘Yes. I do believe it has more to do with  ahm … Jealousy, of the platonic kind.’

Sidney looked satisfied with his wording and continued with a bemused smile. 

‘What? How ?’

‘Still wanting to know everything, Miss Heywood?’

‘Of course, since a lack of knowledge makes one prone to blunder. And I don’t much care for making mistakes and saying  bad things because I don’t understand certain situations.’

‘You never blundered.  I hope you know that. You always managed to get quite far with the limited amount of information you had. You’re very intuitive.’

‘Still. I hurt people.’

She hurt him. She’d made so many mistakes, and he’d scolded her so harshly for them. Her assumptions about Tom, Arthur, him, the list went on. She’d never had so many things so wrong before. Everything in Sanditon was so layered and complicated.’

‘I was looking to be hurt over certain words. I was quite defensive. A brute, if you will. You were right about Tom, even me.’

‘I was also wrong about you’, she admitted gently. 

‘ Luckily we understand each other better now’, he smiled. 

Her dying heart jumped another time, giving a sign of life as it lay heavy on her stomach. 

‘Yes.’ 

She knew him better only to lose him. 

‘But I think it doesn’t harm anyone if I allow you some understanding of the situation. Before you would go around “ _ blundering _ ” tonight’, he tease d as they started climbing the cliff. 

‘My friend Babington hasn’t exactly been subtle about his sudden liking of Miss Denham. And Mr. Crowe likes Babington very much, and vehemently dislikes Miss Denham. For years now, it’s been just us, young bachelors. Mr. Crowe fears the end of the triumvirate has come. Babington wants to settle, he doesn’t. Babington has for a while of course, he’s a lord and a sole son, he feels the need to procure an heir. Yet it is, of course, easier to blame the woman who snatches the man, than it is to blame his friend for wanting that.’

‘Shouldn’t someone wish their friends all happiness?’

‘ I take it that only works if the one friend doesn’t believe the other friend is marrying a  demon. And Crowe isn’t that mature  to wish another all happiness when it lessens his. ’

Charlotte swallowed. She had tried , the day after Esther’s wedding.  The only  things she found  solace  in amid her heartache was that she had done the right thing in sacrificing her happiness, and that Sidney still stood a chance of being happy even when she herself had lost it. How could you want for two people to be miserable? One who knows agony should know better than to wish it upon another.

‘Perhaps Mr. Crowe is merely afraid  of being alone.’

‘I’m pretty sure he is. But presently there are few women who’d take him on. And he has no desire to be married either.’

‘So he left ? ’

‘So he left ’, Sidney agreed. 

They hadn’t had this conversation before, and Charlotte found herself intrigued.

‘ So a lot is at stake at the ball’, Sidney started.

Charlotte found herself nodding. The ball was where she was sure Sidney had been about to ask her.  And the ball was where Esther had gotten engaged, she remembered. Afterwards Esther had asked her and Georgiana to come to London with her for the wedding preparations. It had been a pleasant and necessary distraction. It had offered her the opportunity to stay  away from Sidney after the heart-shattering news he was engaged.  Daily interaction with him had just been too painful. 

They steered the conversation to safer waters afterwards . Charlotte was so invested in keeping the conversation safe she was shocked that they had directed their steps  towards  t he very clifftop of her memory. A ttracted by the partial sunshine of  the  strangel y clouded summer sky . She did not want to repeat the steps that had haunted her for two months, but she could as soon withdraw from Sidney’s presence as the waves could stray from the beach. She was always pulled back to him. He possessed her thoughts, and owned her heart. Escape was futile. 

Dread weighed her limbs down. History was about to repeat itself. Why did the clouds now look so ominous while she had not taken notice of them the previous time? In hindsight they looked positively  foreboding .

‘We seem not to be walking towards town’, she noticed.

‘Ah yes, your uhm… dress fitting. Forgive me.’

He came to stand closer, his gaze flitting towards her lips again. It was so much clearer now, his restlessness, his energy.  Her nerves were on high alert, strung taut at the prospect. The air was sizzling between them. 

It almost felt like an outer body experience, her body was ready for the kiss, registering the moment and what it meant, and even a part of her mind hungered for it. But her conscious was aware of what had happened the previous time, and felt apprehensive at her eagerness. 

He huffed a laugh that tore at her heart. 

‘Should we head back, perhaps?’

With her current knowledge, she should say yes. This was her chance to spare Sidney. She would have to live with her memories. She  had to go through each day remembering what the absolute hope and happiness felt like that filled the hours between their kiss and the almost proposal before everything came burning down. But she could preven t him from having such painful memories. It would make it easier on him to make the right decision . He wouldn’t feel as if he hurt another woman to help his family. Perhaps it would even make him more eager to receive Mrs. Campion’s affections. 

‘I think…’

Her voice caught in her throat. 

_ We should return.  _

Three simple words, yet they were as impossible as it was for a farmer to become king.

She had to give him up. She had to sacrifice the first and last day he was truly hers. All she had of him was today.  Would one kiss really damn them? Her heart was already broken. The memory was in her head. And she was certain that even without the kiss she would have been absolutely miserable after his engagement.  It was his heart she had to save. Even though he wouldn’t even know her sacrifice. No one would. It was her burden alone. 

Three words. 

A hot tear scorched her cool cheek. 

‘I can’t. I’m sorry. I’m so sorry.’

‘Charlotte? Are you alright?’

He was close to her again. His scent all around her. His presence looming over hers. His warm hands on her shoulders.

‘I- Have I said something wrong?’

‘No. No not anything! You haven’t done a thing wrong ’, she sobbed. 

‘Then what… Help me understand. I want to help.’

‘There’s nothing you can do, nothing at all. That’s the whole problem.  I’m just being silly.’

‘You’re not silly, Charlotte.’

‘I am. I am. I know it’s just the way things are.’ Her cheeks were heating up now as hot tears continued ricocheting.

‘The way things are… Silly… Charlotte if this is about Eliza… She was wrong. She was wrong on so many levels. You’re not just a country girl. You’re not silly at all.  You’re better than all of that London bunch thrown together. You’re intuitive, kind, well-read, cultured, mature , forgiving, intelligent and enterprising. In just a couple of months you transformed me, transformed Sanditon. You even managed to make my relationship with Georgiana slightly less strained. There’s not a life you’ve touched that you haven’t changed for the better. ’

He pulled her closer to him, gently rubbing her tears with his handkerchief. 

‘I realize I should have spoken up at the regatta. When she talked about you.  And the words I did say weren’t enough. I told her you’d rather be alone with a book of Plato. But I see now how ostracizing that was. You are not their match, you aren’t even in their league, they’re miles below you. And I- I  was hoping we might find a moment when we could be alone together. I woke up this morning, my head full of our conversation last night.’

What had they spoken about again? Her mind was spinning from his words. 

‘Because I realized I would much rather be alone at home with you, reading together, than try and be like them, living their meaningless indulgent lives.  All this time, these past few years, I was chasing a ghost without questioning whether I still wanted that life I once wished. The girl I once wished. Charlotte, I’m no longer the man that wants Eliza. And the  river has changed as well. It’s you. You who challenged me, required me to become a better brother, a better man, a better guardian. ’

Charlotte’s heart shed it’s lead layer and floated upwards on a cloud of butterflies. 

_ He couldn’t possibly. This had never happened in the original timeline.  _

Charlotte shook her head. She couldn’t handle refusing a proposal. She’d never had that. Never had him. Had time changed? Had her reaction changed things? Could the fire change as well? 

Sidney misinterpreted her head shaking. 

‘It’s true. I know I’ve been antagonistic. I was looking to misinterpret your words, looking for flaws, looking to be let down by you the way I was let down by others. I was bitter and brooding and harsh. I hope you can find it in you to forgive my former behaviour. But trust me that I love none but you, I want none but you. I never wanted to put myself in someone else’s power before. I never wanted to care for anyone but myself. But now... Now that has all changed. And I wondered if…’

‘Sidney…’

‘You could find it in you…’

‘Oh my god.’

‘To marry me? So will you, Charlotte? My dear Charlotte?’

He’d only said her name once before, at the regatta, and now it came tumbling off his lips so easily, so beautifully as he held her in his arms as if she was the most precious thing on the world.

Could someone really say no to their deepest darkest desire?

She was too weak. 

She couldn’t do anything but nod as the tears continued. 

His eyes fell to her lips again.

And then they were kissing. 

She was engaged. Kissing her fiancé. 

If fate tore them apart  now she didn’t believe she stood any chance of putting herself together again. She had to change the course of tonight. The thought was enough to render her a sobbing mess, shaking in his arms. 

The kiss felt as good as she remembered, even better. Her whole body felt alive. She had missed feeling like this. Had missed the way her body buzzed with excitement and her body was filled up with hope and happiness. But at the same time there was a darkness eating at her. Her heart felt as if it could burst from the conflicting emotions.

‘Charlotte, you’re  not unhappy I hope? You don’t have to marry me. I wouldn’t want to see you unhappy. Ever.’

‘No-no. I do. I do want to marry you.’

On the way down from the cliff they passed an arguing couple, and Charlotte couldn’t help but smile a bit at that. Once she and Sidney had been at each other’s throat like that as well. The couple fell silent as they came closer, the woman in blue and the man in brown nodding at them.

‘We still have to pass by the dressmaker’, Sidney realized. 

‘I do.’

‘I’ll walk you to it. For real this time.’

Charlotte mustered a smile and accepted the  proffered arm.

The afternoon blew by, filled with the dress fitting and Sidney breaking the news to Georgiana and the Parkers. Georgiana was eerily quiet, while the Parkers were all loud cheering and happy conversation. Wine bottles were  decorked and Tom and Arthur were dumbfounded at the turn of events. But both expressed their utmost joy at the turn of events. 

The afternoon flew by and before she knew it Mary dragged her upstairs to get ready for the ball. 

She was too dazed and excited to register time or react in any way to the future she knew was to happen. As Sidney presented her to everyone as his fiancée, time became meaningless to Charlotte. Although she still felt a sense of doom gnawing at her mind, resulting in the occasional pair of shaky hands, she had no more cues to go by to judge the progression of the evening. Everything was so different. 

Georgiana was avoiding her – probably because of the engagement but she had no time or energy to address it – while she was now being  lead around by Sidney, leading to her not dancing with Mr. Stringer. And since she was already engaged, she wasn’t going to have a discussion alone with him. Or so she supposed.  So it took her by absolute surprise when Edward stormed in.

‘Away! Unhand me you blagards!’ 

The memory instantly flooded back to her. 

Sidney tensed, instantly leaving her and moving forward to the scene of conflict. 

Up close, Charlotte could see Esther shrink away as her brother approached, as Lord Babington’s shoulders seemed to swell broader beside her, like an angry cat reacting to a threat.

‘Esther, I have been such a fool Esther. That little vixen Clara took advantage of me I must have been mad. Tell me that you love me as I still love you.’

‘You don’t know the meaning of it, she protested feebly. 

Babington surged forward at the same moment as Lord Babington. They gripped Edward by the shoulders, dragging him off.

‘No no!’ Edward protested over the sound of Babington repeating his request he leave.

‘Only if she tells me to!’ he cried as he tore himself away from them.

‘Esther’, Edward pleaded. 

It was only more horrifying to watch it unfold a second time. Here was a man, thirsty for wealth and prestige. Who cared not for the women he disgraced, and professing his love in a manner that shamed and ruined them publicly as well out of a selfish desperate attempt to save his skin. 

Desperation and greed made monsters of men. 

And women were always the victims.

She loathed him. If he cared for Esther at all, he would have accepted himself being disinherited and wish the best for Esther. She still had the chance to inherit and find love, but instead he tried pulling her down with him. 

‘Just go.’

Esther had always seemed more marble than flesh, yet how fragile the proud woman now looked in front of all these people. Charlotte’s heart blead. 

Could she have prevented it? She had changed her course, could she change hers?

‘Mr. Parker, would you be good enough to put this man on the next coach back to London?’ Lady Denham requested. 

Sidney nodded.

‘She’ll turn on you too. She’ll turn on you as she-'

Edward’s voice fell away as Sidney and Babington dragged him away.

Esther ran off, removing herself from the whispers and gazes.

Last time she’d gone after her until Lord Babington had arrived on the scene. And then almost as soon as she’d left the room, Arthur and Diana had rushed back in to tell Tom about the burning  apartments . 

Which meant that... They already had to be burning now.

But – where was Georgiana? She’d disappeared from the assembly. Charlotte had to go after Esther. But the terrace was building! But who would believe her if she told  it? And Sidney was gone, carrying Edward to a post coach. She had no choice. She had to wait. Only a short while. Then she would rush out and tell everyone. 

She ran after Esther, offering her a handkerchief and talking sweet nothings about how all would be  fine and Edward wouldn’t manage to ruin her. As soon as Lord Babington pulled at the curtain Charlotte ran out. 

‘I’ve heard the  apartments are burning!’ Charlotte quickly announced. If it wasn’t her who discovered it, it would work, so she told herself. 

‘What? From whom?’ Alright. It didn’t work. 

‘Someone was still working in them. We  have to go now. We need to fight the fire’, Charlotte begged Tom. 

‘But... The ball.’

‘You haven’t ensured the apartments. Make sure they are still standing! Otherwise nothing else will matter.’

‘How do you know of...’

‘I sort your papers, don’t I?’

Tom nodded. 

‘We’ll handle it discreetly.’

‘Mr. Parker no. Really, it’s burning too much. We need all the help we can get.’

‘But what will these fine people think of me, if I ask them to labour?’

Charlotte didn’t know whether she wanted to smack his head or her own. 

The time was already up. Arthur came rushing in, shooting Tom a panicked look. 

Charlotte liked to believe it was due to her warming Tom up and getting him fearful that Tom decided to get over his pride and “All will be alright” mindset. He took to the middle of the room and finally asked for help.

They ran out with all who cared, luckily quite a few. 

Charlotte knocked on all doors as she ran towards the terrace. Begging for support. 

They had to save the buildings and they were already burning. 

Sidney and  her were engaged. He couldn’t ask Mrs. Campion to save him. If they didn’t save  Sanditon they were ruined. Utterly ruined. 

Tom would go to jail. 

Mary and the poor children would be in debt and in great trouble.

She should have gone about it differently. She should have instead watched the building or asked someone to watch it. She should have visited Mr. Stringer and encouraged Mr. Stringer to keep his dad at home in the evening. She should have told him to be kind to his father. Their final conversation still weighed on him so. She could have changed all of that, but instead she’d been enjoying her engagement. 

She was disgusted with herself. She’d been so shaken by the new turn of events she’d been unable to speak and act until it was too late. 

Hozes of water were being brought to the building. 

The fire wasn’t as large yet, she noted to her amazement. Yet she quickly took off her delicate gloves to help. Soon the whole town had arrived. All working tirelessly to bring water to the buildings that could be used to extinguish it. 

_ I must carry more. _ Charlotte thought as she dragged buckets from the sea to the town together with a large mass of women to put into the extinguishing machines that pumped water to the building. 

_ Once more.  _

_ Just one bucket more. _

The wooden bucket clattered to the ground after she’d emptied it for what she guessed was the twentieth time that night. Her shoulder ached, lactic acid making them throb. She bent until her back cracked and let out a painful sigh. 

_ I can’t do one more. _

A hand on her burning shoulder shook her out of her bubble. 

It was Sidney, his face grey with soot. 

Reality came in again. 

In the background she could hear people talking. Water rushing, creaking pumps,  seagulls . 

Behind Sidney’s face, the sky was turning light blue and purple. 

‘Charlotte, go rest.’

‘No. No the buildings.’ That was when she discovered she was out of breath as well, her voice frail and quiet. 

‘There’s naught to be done anymore. The fire is extinguished. Whatever damage there is, is done. We’ll inspect the building in a couple of hours.’

‘Building’, she asked, her mind coming back from where it had retreated during her focused work. But it was hard. Her body was sore and aching, her eyes fighting for sleep. Concentrating was hard. 

‘Yes, it appears that the outer buildings have minimal damage. Some smoke damage on the outside is all, until now. We don’t know if the fire has threatened the structure yet on the inside. We’ll see.’

Charlotte nodded, her mind drifting further and further away. She was pretty sure there was something she was forgetting, but she didn’t know what. 

He frowned again. 

She did love his eyes so. 

He gently pulled her towards him, enveloping her in a gentle hug. 

It hurt her aching shoulders, but to hold him was positively divine. 

Guilt ate at her. She didn’t know the price of one burned building, for sure it was better than the whole terrace, but it would still be a hefty sum. She didn’t know how they’d do it. She could only hope the water, fire and smoke hadn’t fully destroyed the one where the fire had started. 

And of course, Sidney didn’t know about the insurance yet. But she couldn’t bring herself to tell him. She was so  tired, and telling him now wouldn’t change a thing.

‘Charlotte?’

‘Mhm.’

She could hear a huff, and feel it reverberating in his chest where her cheek was laying against. 

‘Alright, to bed with you. You’re falling asleep as you’re standing on your feet.’

Sidney laid his arm on her back and guided her towards the Parker house. 

The sky was clouding over already. A pale morning it was. And the day before had looked bleak as well. 

_Why did it have to be so? How ominously it fit the mood._

She wondered if it was always sunny in a rich man’s world. 

How she managed to climb the stairs, she didn’t know. All she knew, when she closed her eyes, was that she wanted to keep getting good night kisses from Sidney forever. He managed to make bitter ashen lips feel like heaven on earth.  


**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Dun dun dun... What will the next morning bring? Is there a next morning? Does she just wake up again in Willingden? Who knows! 
> 
> Thank you all for your sweet comments the previous chapter. I know the first one was short, I planned on making them all "relatively" short, silly me. Currently I'm looking at a four to five shot. I thought I would get it ready by Halloween but it is a rather busy past couple of weeks. This whole fic was meant as a Halloween fic, it doesn't have any horror or anything, but it does have some magic and the very real horror of having to relive the worst day in your life over and over again.


	3. The third Midsummer Ball

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Charlotte awakes on June 24th again and decides to change her technique. Sidney needs to be in on the disaster. Perhaps together, they can save Sanditon.

> **“They always say time changes things, but you actually have to change them yourself.”**   
>  **― Andy Warhol  
> **

Charlotte awoke due to the sunlight streaming in through her window.

Her bones ached as she stretched.

Another short night.

It felt as if barely a minute had gone by since Sidney had brought her home the previous night. Her head was still heavy with thoughts, her brain actively worrying over the day’s events. She threw off the sheets. She had to know the damage. She prayed it wasn’t too expensive a cost, especially since she’d taken away the solution to the problem by getting engaged.

She had to get dressed. And store away the dress, shoes and gloves from the previous night since she’d carelessly thrown them over a chair and on the ground.

Her gaze moved towards the chair.

 _No_.

Charlotte froze. The clothes were gone. As a matter of fact everything of the previous day was gone. But surely she would have heard had anyone come in to move her clothes? Or had she been so tired she didn’t hear the maid coming in to take her belongings to… clean them perhaps?

She quickly shrugged on a white dress and donned her pink spencer before rushing downstairs.

‘Charlotte, Charlotte. Hide me!’ cried Alicia as she ran up to Charlotte and hid behind her skirts.

‘Oh, well. We should get away from the stairs then’, smiled Charlotte, pulling the girl into the breakfast parlour with her, quickly closing the door.

Alicia giggled.

‘Oh, Charlotte. You’re up early’, noticed Mary.

‘Yes well, the sun awoke me.’

‘Oh, forgot to close your curtains? It’s odd though, it isn’t the clearest weather’, Mary said, glancing outside at the grey sky.

‘No indeed. It’s been a grey two days.’

‘Two days? Why, it was lovely weather yesterday’, Alicia frowned.

But Charlotte had been on a walk just the previous day. The sky had been grey. She’d taken particular notice of it.

She sat down at the table silently.

‘Still hungry dear?’ Mary asked her daughter.

‘No, Charlotte is helping me hide.’

‘Oh. That’s very kind of her. But do let her eat before you involve her in further games’, Mary warned.

The girl nodded, moving to a cupboard to hide behind in case her brother came in.

‘Are Tom and Sidney off to inspect the terrace already?’

‘As a matter of fact they have’, Mary answered.

‘Tom told me yesterday that they were almost finished. Just a final layer of paint in some of the rooms and they’re good to be sold.’

Charlotte blinked.

But they had burned yesterday. Or at least one of them had. And it had been almost morning by the time they went to bed.

‘But I guess there’s more than just some paint that will need to be done before they can be sold now’, Charlotte tentatively asked. It would take more than some paint to cover the smoke and water damage. Perhaps Mary had meant her statement in a way to say “It’s a pity the fire happened as the buildings were supposed to be done by now”, yet her tone was strangely careless in the light of yesterday’s drama.

Mary frowned, observing Charlotte over her cup of tea.

‘It is likely, Tom is always rather optimistic’, Mary answered carefully. Charlotte took a boiled egg from a platter.

Before they could continue the conversation Henry stormed in, followed by a pouting Jenny who had clearly been found first.

‘Is Alicia here?’

The women remained silent, shooting each other bemused glances as Henry searched the premises, crying victoriously as he found his sister sat behind the cupboard.

‘Oh no!’ Alicia moaned as she stood, dusting her skirts like a little lady. Her eyes flew to the door, her face brightening when she noticed her sister.

‘So it’s your turn!’ Alicia laughed.

Jenny’s little face scrunched up, clearly not happy that she had to count.

‘Miss Heywood, will you play with us?’

‘Miss Heywood is eating breakfast dear, do let her eat first. Perhaps in two rounds she’ll be finished. Ask her then’, Mary suggested.

‘Will you, Miss Heywood?’ Jenny asked quietly, coming to stand beside her.

‘Sure.’

The girl grinned widely, nodding in agreement. ‘Alright.’

The two others ran out, leaving Jenny behind to count. And in a minute, she too sprinted out the door, shouting that she was coming to find them.

‘The children have been racing through the house all morning. It’s a wonder it was the light waking you up instead of them.’

That sounded familiar.

‘I didn’t hear anything’, Charlotte smiled. She had been so tired, she could have slept through a ball with loud music.

‘Well, lucky you. They made a mess of the place, leaving toys everywhere. Luckily they’ve transitioned into a game that doesn’t require toys’, Mary sighed fondly, looking around the breakfast room.

‘It looks pretty clean.’

Wait, had she said that before? A sense of déjà-vû creeped up. Something was off.

‘I already cleaned a bit so it looks a bit more in order. A mother’s job is always running one step after the children to clean up after them.’

She had heard that before. Now she was certain. She’d had this conversation yesterday as well. A terrifying thought snuck up to her. Yesterday’s clothes had been missing too.

‘But you are a wonderful mother.’

‘Thank you dear. That’s kind. But it does get tiring sometimes. I admit I rarely have the energy to clean up after the biggest child.’

_Why was she repeating yesterday’s conversation? And why didn’t Mary notice that they were having it again?_

‘Tom?’ guessed Charlotte.

Mary’s eyes glittered with humour, her lips quirking up before the light in her eyes dimmed as she let out a sigh.

‘ I don’t know how he does it, but he’s made a mess of his office again. And I understood you put things in order no three days ago?’

Yesterday. She did it yesterday.

She was going to be sick.

‘I did.’

‘Sometimes I believe they see a clean room as an invitation to make a mess again. It’s Sysyphus torture, we clean only so it can get dirty again. Could you perhaps have a look at it? If you have time today, that is. I know you have a dress fitting. And you probably have other things to do as well. People to see.’

And there it was, the confirmation she needed.

It was June twenty-fourth again. The day of the Midsummer Ball.

Charlotte swallowed.

Yesterday hadn’t happened. She hadn’t kissed Sidney. She wasn’t engaged. He hadn’t professed his love. And the terrace hadn’t burned. It had, but she was the only one who remembered. And to the rest of the world, it hadn’t happened.

Panic bubbled up inside her. She was choking, her lungs filled with gallons of dread. Painful goose flesh pressed against the fabric of her spencer. She didn’t know how it had happened and she was terrified. This was the third time she’d awoken on the twenty-fourth. Was she doomed to repeat this day forever? What if she never woke up on a new day again?

This had to be a nightmare, a terrible awful nightmare. Who else but the devil could have created this personal hell for her where she was doomed to repeat the worst day of her life over and over again without ever being able to change the outcome?

And if it wasn’t a nightmare, that was actually worse, wasn’t it? Because then magic was responsible for making her wake up on the same cursed day for… forever?

But why? What had she done to deserve this fate?

‘Excuse me’, Charlotte muttered, pushing back her chair and leaving the parlour before Mary had the chance to react.

She couldn’t keep doing this. She couldn’t go through that kiss again only for it all to come burning down again at the end of the night.

A sob left her body as she rushed back into her bedroom.

For over a month, she felt as if she were dead, going through the motions while she felt her soul had died. She had wondered about the use of living if she got no joy out of it. She wondered when she would feel alive again. How spoiled she had been. She had been interacting with people, creating memories and leaving memories with others. That had been living; Now she was reliving the same day, nobody remembering what she had done or said the day before, unable to continue living her life.

Would she ever get past this date? Would she ever see her family again? Would she ever be able to truly live again? How much pain was she expected to suffer as she watched everything implode, powerless to stop it.

No, wait. That wasn’t true. She had changed yesterday. She’d changed her daily routine. She’d changed her conversation with Georgiana, she had gotten engaged and she had managed to limit the fire by telling Tom earlier.

Perhaps, perhaps she wasn’t powerless!

Perhaps she could change fate. Perhaps she could save Sanditon! Either that, or she had landed the leading role in God’s second instalment of “Sysyphus; the Repetition Hell Continues”.

But she needed allies.

Sure as she was that people loved her, asking them to trust her crazy fantastical explanation would be pushing the boundaries of friendship and belief. But there were two people she was certain she could get on her side.

She had to get them on her side.

Or well, at least one.

If she remained home instead of going to Georgiana, she could catch Sidney sooner.

Yes. She would try. Perhaps if she managed to save the day, perhaps right the cosmic injustice that had been done, she could continue her life. Perhaps it was a challenge set out by the goddess of fate.

There had to be a way out of this hell. It just wasn’t possible to keep on redoing this day, for starters she was sure she was going to go mad within a couple of weeks, but secondly she couldn’t imagine the ramifications. Her body still ached, while it hadn’t before. Did that mean she as a person was being transported back in time each day? Did that mean that at one point she would grow old and grey while everyone around her would repeat the same day and never age?

_No, stop that. You’re being way too practical about a very odd magical thing. Besides, it doesn’t matter. You’re Charlotte Heywood, you’re going to fix this before you grow old and grey._

She wiped away her tears and cracked her fingers. She would do her best to create the best version of today, even if she was the only person who would remember it, if only so she could sleep easily at night knowing she’d given it her all.

An hour later, after when she was supposed to take a walk, Sidney and Tom arrived home. She was already in his office. The past two times she’d been across the square, looking at them as they entered the house while she entered Georgiana’s.

‘Charlotte!’ cried Tom.

‘Not out and about?’

‘No, I was a bit tired’, she smiled.

‘Ah, alright. I hope my poor classification system didn’t tire you?

_What system?_

‘No, not at all. Just a bad night’s sleep.’

‘Oh, nothing too serious I hope, you need your energy for the ball tonight.’

‘I always have energy to dance’, Charlotte answered sweetly.

She moved towards the door as Tom walked towards his desk.

‘Good to hear, good to hear! My, you found time to clean up my documents already. I was just planning to do that!’

_Sure Tom, that’s why the mess was always still there for me in the afternoon._

‘Could we speak?’ she asked Sidney quietly as Tom sat down on his knees to search for something.

He threw her a look, his eyebrows knitting together. She let out a sigh of relief when he nodded.

‘If you have no more need for me, I’ll be going’, Charlotte announced.

‘Yes yes, fine fine. Just going to do some sketching on the next addition to Sanditon. I’m thinking about a theatre! Now wouldn’t that draw in the fashionable folks?’

‘Certainly, sounds great. I can’t wait to hear more about it’, Charlotte said before gliding away. She waited in the hallway until Sidney joined her.

After some minutes Sidney closed the door behind him, leaving Tom behind in his office. She answered his dark eyes with a small smile. She couldn’t believe they’d been engaged just yesterday. Or well, today. In another world.

‘Yes?’ his deep baritone voice asked, filled with concern.

‘In private perhaps, it’s going to be a long conversation.’

‘Has something happened?’

‘No, but something is about to.’

He nodded, instantly straightening his shoulders as if to meet the challenge. She was pretty confidant that today wouldn’t end in a proposal. Sidney was practical. If his family was faced with a problem, his mind was devoted to solving it, not to achieving personal goals.

She considered this, but it wasn’t even a choice. She needed Sidney to help her. And if they managed to prevent the fire tonight, there would be nothing in their way to marry. One day of Charlotte spouting nonsense about seeing the future wouldn’t change his affection for her, or so she hoped.

Once they closed the door of the library behind them she immediately turned to Sidney.

‘I know that what I am about to say sounds impossible and strange, but I need you to be open-minded. You’re my only hope.’

‘Char- Miss Heywood, don’t speak in riddles. If there’s anything you need, speak plainly. What is the matter?’

‘Tonight during the ball, the terrace will burn down. Tom will be in debt, seriously in debt. We’re talking seventy thousand.’

Shock, disbelief and fear warred on his face before he turned guarded.

‘And how do you know this?’

‘Because today is the third time I’ve woken up on June twenty-fourth. I… I know it sounds impossible, and for a time, I refused to believe it myself. But it’s true.’

‘You’re asking me to believe in time travel?’

Charlotte nodded, defeat pooling in her stomach. She should have known this wouldn’t fly. Even to her own ears it sounded ridiculous.

‘Even if it is true… Why would Tom even be in debt?’

‘Because he hasn’t ensured the buildings.’

‘Hasn’t insured the…’ Sidney backed away, shattering Charlotte’s heart as he shook his head, a disbelieving laugh leaving his mouth. ‘Why wouldn’t he insure the buildings? He’d have to be an idiot not … to ensure… The buildings.’

He paused near the window, falling still, the grooves between his frown lines deepening. He was considering it. He shook his head again, as if he tried to rid himself of the notion.

‘He has cut corners before’, Charlotte added softly.

He shook his head, a painful smile now contorting his face. ‘Yes but to forget to ensure the buildings.’

‘He wanted to get them done, spending money on it would delay the finishing.’

‘He could have told you this. It is no proof. Or you could have found a document.’

‘Why would I be silent about this?’

‘To be honest, this wouldn’t be the first time you remained silent.’

She accepted the stab.

‘But I wouldn’t endanger Sanditon by allowing him to continue without ensuring it. I care for Sanditon. I care for your family.’

This made Sidney doubt, and move towards her again. He nodded slowly.

‘I’ll ask him.’

‘I could tell you more?’ she offered. She knew him. He needed facts, he needed more evidence.

‘You have more?’

Charlotte took a deep breath, steeling herself for the other confessions he would perhaps attach value to. Anything to convince him.

‘You planned on taking a walk with me today.’

The effect was instantaneous. His shoulders stiffened, his gaze shooting up to meet hers. He was already opening his mouth to ask a question.

‘You’re either going to kiss me or propose.’

‘How- but… I haven’t spoken to a soul… What…’

‘I’ll either kiss you back or accept the proposal’, she answered with a small smile.

His features softened, his throat bobbing up and down. ‘If we go on a walk this afternoon, I can describe to you the arguing couple we’ll pass on our way back, their clothes’, she supplied as her memories came rushing back.

‘I can tell you what everyone is going to wear tonight. And that Edward will barge in and demand Esther admit she loves him. Then Arthur will come running in, after he left together with Diana, telling he saw the fire.’

His tan face paled.

‘What happens after today?’

‘Originally, we kissed on the clifftops, then the ball happened, then the fire. The whole terrace burned down and you had to find money, or Tom would go to debtor’s prison. There’s no way a bank or private person would give Tom one more pound, since he’s already borrowed so much. So you… Engaged yourself to Mrs. Campion.’

Sidney grew silent, backing away again to sit down in a chair, his hands supporting his face as he mulled it over.

She wondered what he was thinking of. Was he thinking about the plausibility? Was he running over his options? She moved to sit across of him, sitting down for some minutes before he broke his silence.

‘And the second time? When we were engaged?’

‘Only one building burned down, because we went to the terrace earlier and got more people to help. But I woke up today and it was the day of the ball again.’

‘I must admit it all sounds rather fantastical. Though you have no reason to lie. Is there a reason for time to continue the first time you witnessed today while it didn’t the second time?’

‘I don’t know. It’s a mystery to me as well.’

‘How far did you get, in time?’

‘The end of summer.’

‘And there’s nothing that indicated… why you might… get back to this day?’

Charlotte shook her head. She was relieved though, such questions indicated he believed her.

‘No, one night I was stargazing with Alison and the next… I woke up and I was in Sanditon again.’

She fell silent.

A candle lighting in her head, illuminating a previously invisible memory.

‘I did…. Wish I could be happy again, upon a shooting star.’

Sidney’s gaze grew darker still. She could read compassion and guilt in those brown eyes and felt at once relieved by his expression and ashamed of burdening him with her suffering.

He nodded slowly, feeling restrained in what he could express.

‘How can I help?’

‘To be honest’, Charlotte started, sighing deeply. ‘I don’t know. All I know is that I didn’t manage alone.’

‘The previous two times we were at the ball, weren’t we?’

‘Yes.’

‘So then logically, it would be wise to skip the ball, or perhaps go there soon after the start? So that we can immediately respond to the flames.’

Charlotte nodded.

‘When did you say it happened? A rough estimate?’

‘We always discovered it between eleven and midnight.’

‘But no one is supposed to be there then.’

‘It must have happened before that point, but after the last person left for the ball which would explain why no one ever saw the flames and warned others before’, Charlotte reasoned.

Sidney nodded.

‘How about we get ready for the ball and then we make sure to pass by the terrace on our way there, and I return after… the second dance?’ he suggested.

‘ _We_. If there’s a fire, one of us will need to alert neighbours and start extinguishing the fire while the other alerts Tom.’

‘Very sensible.’

The practical conversation was out of the way, and she just ended up staring at Sidney.

_Now what do we do and say?_

She had hoped Sidney would believe and help her, and it appeared she had his support but now an awkward atmosphere hung between them.

‘Good, well’, Sidney nodded. He too struggled to combat the awkwardness.

‘I’ll talk to Tom, see about this… insurance thing. And the money he owes.’

Charlotte nodded.

Did that mean he doubted her story and had only worked along to appease her? Or did he just want to double-check or speak about it with Tom?

‘Thank you, for listening. I- I know it must sound ridiculous.’

Sidney pushed himself upright, and she followed suit.

His face still looked conflicted. She watched him as he moved towards the window. His frame giving a brooding impression even as he was turned away from her.

‘Just out of interest, you would still be interested in a walk this afternoon?’ he asked.

Charlotte blinked. She hadn’t anticipated the question.

‘Yes. I could show you the couple I talked about, to show you.’

He nodded.

‘Very well, Charlotte’, he nodded before he left the room.

That afternoon they went on their walk, Sidney informed her that Tom had immediately gone defensive, asking how Sidney knew and then explaining why his decisions were understandable and logical. To no avail, Sidney had lashed out at him and forced him to, from now on, show him all paperwork every time he decided to construct a new building. And though he would let Tom off the hook to keep the peace tonight for the ball, he would be telling Mary about it tomorrow since she was the victim of his negligence. Charlotte was very relieved and surprised by the turn of events. Though she and Sidney were nowhere close to getting together, she felt that today was the best twenty-fourth yet, as it ensured the best future for Sanditon yet.

‘I am truly indebted to you, Charlotte. I always doubted my brother’s nose for business. He has dreams and visions but not one brain cell knowledgeable on how to lead a business or develop a town in a responsible way. Even if you are wrong about today, he was a ticking time bomb, being reckless in such a way. I didn’t think he’d go to such depths.’

‘I’m glad to help, truly. Even though I wish it wasn’t needed. I’m sure he meant no harm.’

‘He never does. That’s what makes it so infuriating. He isn’t even aware of the danger he gets himself into.’

‘Hopefully it will all be better now.’

‘Let’s hope. I do wish you are wrong to begin with though.’

‘We’ll soon see the couple’, Charlotte announced as they started their descent down the cliff.

‘A woman in a blue coat and a man in brown. The woman has black hair, and the man blond. They’re arguing. We’ll hear them argue, but when we get closer, they’ll smile and wave.’

He frowned, eyes searching the landscape until, in the distance, two small figures became noticeable. The wind shifted, and their voices were carried further. Sidney’s eyebrows rose when he heard it. The argument. He was shaking his head, yet that didn’t stop the couple from approaching, looking exactly as Charlotte described, and waving as if nothing was going on.

‘I have no explanation for this.’

‘Neither do I’, Charlotte smiled.

‘We’ll deal with the divine interference and the existence of magic tomorrow.’

Charlotte fell silent.

She did wish for a tomorrow. She didn’t want Sidney to forget. She didn’t want to go through this day again.

‘Yes.’

‘But first: tonight.’

_It always boils down to tonight. A midsummer night’s nightmare._

‘Yes’, she agreed softly.

 _Again_.

Charlotte’s nerves were tense that night, shivers racing down her arms every so often at the thought of rushing outside and finally succeeding in preventing the fire.

On the way to the ball, the terrace had looked quiet. The sun was still setting, and so they didn’t see a light burning anywhere.

Charlotte was so relieved and excited her brain was blank, and she quickly forgot about it.

It was only once at the ball, after three glasses of wine to calm her nerves, when Mr. Stringer was moving her way with a big smile, that an awful realization hit her.

His father died tonight.

His father had been in the building. Had been in the building the whole time.

When they had passed the building, old Mr. Stringer had already been in. The only reason they didn’t see a fire was probably because either he hadn’t been using a candle yet, or the candle wasn’t noticeable during the twilight hour.

‘A dance, Miss Heywood?’

_No sorry, I just realized your father dies tonight, perhaps now as we speak._

‘Later, perhaps. I must urgently talk to Mr. Parker first’, she smiled. ‘But I promise you one before the night is over.’

His face was a mess of sadness and acceptance.

‘No problem I hope?’

‘Oh, a minor one. But it must be addressed.’

This took some of the misery off his face. She swallowed away the guilt of lying, after being way too friendly to him and giving him hopes he shouldn’t have harboured. At least she could save his father tonight, if not his heart.

‘I hope it’ll be solved soon, Miss.’

She searched the room and found Sidney’s tall figure beside Lord Babington’s short one.

‘Yes, thank you, Mr. Stringer.’

She lifted her skirts and walked over, passing a dancing Georgiana and Arthur.

So he was still here. She looked further. Lady Denham and Esther hadn’t made an appearance yet. Perhaps it was still too early to go, but she was rather on time than too late.

As she navigated the outskirts of the dance floor, she connected eyes with Sidney.

Hesitation struck. Should she, a young lady, approach Sidney? They weren’t in private now. All could see that she sought him out.

No, she’d approached men plenty of times to speak to them. She wouldn’t become shy now. Besides, if Sanditon didn’t burn, they were free to marry. And there had never been a timeline when he didn’t profess his admiration for her. She had to trust her instincts and do what was right.

‘Miss Heywood’, they greeted her when she approached them.

‘Mr. Parker, Lord Babington’, she greeted back, giving a short curtesy.

Sidney’s gaze grew concerned instantly, but Lord Babington’s eyes moved from her face to a spot over her shoulder. His face lit up entirely. 

‘How do you do, Miss Heywood?’ Lord Babington asked politely, shifting on his feet. He smiled at her, but his eyes kept darting back to a spot behind her.

‘Very well, and you?’

‘Yes, yes. Excellent’, he agreed distractedly.

‘Could I perhaps speak to Mr. Parker in private?’

‘Oh, certainly. Yes. I won’t trouble you. I was just… about to take a turn about the room’, Lord Babington stammered, giving her a graceful smile and Sidney a shoulder pat before he slipped away.

He would get engaged today at least, that was a certainty. She followed him with her eyes, his “turn about the room” was a beeline straight towards Esther.

‘Miss Heywood, is there something the matter? Is it time?’

‘I just remembered. It is Mr. Stringer.’

‘Mr. Stringer?’ Sidney questioned, eyes instantly flying towards the room.

‘No, not that Mr. Stringer. His father. He was… found under the rubble.’

‘A man –‘ he started loud, voice full of indignation.

‘I understood buildings burned. You didn’t tell me Tom was indirectly responsible for the death of one of his workers’, he hissed.

His eyes scrunched shut, hands balling into fists.

‘I… I’m ashamed to admit I forgot. Until now.’

Sidney grit his teeth.

‘Has he ever… survived?’

Charlotte shook her head.

‘We should go then. If he burned with the building, and his was the only body… the fire must have started with him. If he isn’t dead yet, getting him out of that building means preventing the fire and preventing his death.’

Of course. She had never thought about that. But how logical it was! She had feared Old Stringer had been consumed by the fire by accident but indeed, how else could the buildings have caught flame than by his doing. She doubted he ever did it on purpose though. Why would he destroy the buildings he’d put so much effort in?

‘Yes. We should.’

She would deal with her stupid flawed reasoning another time. She should have realized. And even if she hadn’t, she should have visited James to tell him to be kind to his father.

Had he not told her their last words had been in anger? James had regretted that so much. Yet she hadn’t. She’d been so absorbed with her own problems and the fire she’d completely forgotten him. How awful she was. None of them had been as affected by the fire as James. The fire had consumed his only family and all his dreams.

She had asked to be happy again and had been given the chance twice now. Yesterday she had gotten her happy engagement and managed to lower the amount of damage. Yet today here she was again.

If she was brought back after asking for happiness, it was clear that the seed of that happiness had to be found on this day. And, if she had awoken on this day again today, that meant that she had not managed to achieve it by the changes she brought the previous day.

Sidney stalked away, and she followed as closely as she could without it being noticeable she followed him.

Her mind was sharp now, fed with food and adrenalin.

She had to look at the mystery in a rational way.

She asked for happiness and had been redirected to this day. That had to mean something. She had to change something – or multiple things – about today to get her happiness. She had to change the course of events, walk a different path.

She sorted what she knew. An engagement did not lead to happiness. Limiting the amount of fire damage didn’t either.

Today she would find out if saving Mr. Stringer and all buildings would change something.

There had to be a perfect version of today that ensured her happiness and hopefully, once she found that version, time would continue as it should have the first time.

Once outside, they tried to look as inconspicuous as possible until they were out of sight, before breaking into a run.

‘Let’s hope the fire hasn’t already started.’

‘Let’s hope Mr. Stringer isn’t dead yet’, Charlotte voiced, panting slightly. She hadn’t even changed her shoes. The dancing slippers Mary gifted her would be ruined.

It didn’t matter. If time continued, she would be able to buy new ones and could sleep peacefully knowing she had prevented a death and a fire and if she woke up again, the shoes would be whole.

The terrace loomed before them, a muted blueish white in the moonlight.

_Please don’t be burning._

_Please don’t be burning._

Her heart pounded in her ears.

Her stomach one knot of nerves as she slowed down.

‘Damn’, Sidney cursed before he ran into one of the buildings.

Charlotte sped up again to reach the point Sidney had been standing near, her eyes flying to all windows of the new buildings until she found the one Sidney must have seen.

There, behind the window, she could see an orange red glow. It was faint, but visible. Too bright for only a handful of candles.

Fire.

She turned around, feeling her feet sink away in the mud.

Water, she needed water. She spotted the big horse watering spot a couple of houses removed. She remembered it had buckets as well, people tanked water from it all the time. She pulled her feet from the mud, feeling it seep into her shoes and gliding between her toes.

Not important.

Her muscles burned with energy, sending her sprinting across the road, filling two buckets to the point she struggled to carry them, and race into the burning building.

Everything still looked clean and perfect in the hallway that smelled of fresh paint. All that effort, never to be used, and that after the labourers had suffered so to get it done. She tried to guess which doors and stairs she had to take to get to the room where the fire burned.

But the smoke was her guide as well, growing thicker and heavier in the darkness. The closer she got, the less she could breathe. She stumbled through an open door, she could just distinguish the furniture through the haze of flames and smoke. The furniture closest to the window was burning.

‘Mr. Stringer?’ Charlotte questioned.

‘Dead!’ answered Sidney’s low voice.

She heard a rattling, before a sharp cracking noise startled her.

Glass shattering. Sidney was breaking the windows.

_To get the smoke out, clever._

‘Where’s the fire? I have some water.’

She heard footsteps over broken glass, before from the smoke a figure appeared, groping towards one of the buckets.

‘Try to hold your breath, the smoke will ruin your lungs and make you dizzy. Follow me.’

She took a breath, the smoke burning her lungs and tickling her throat. Now that her eyes had adjusted, her visibility wasn’t that bad, although the smoke stung her eyes.

A large table had been covered with a now burning cloth, two ladders were burning as well, and the ceiling was blackened. Some distance from the fire lay a figure, his clothes looked burned, but they were now extinguished. Probably Sidney’s doing.

‘A minute.’

Sidney pulled on the burning drapings, throwing them on the floor and jumping on them while he waved at Charlotte to extinguish the table.

Behind her he moved to put out the burning wall and ladder.

With a sizzling sound, the room was doused in darkness and smoke.

They’d been in time to keep the fire from spreading.

On her way to Sidney, she almost stumbled over something, or rather, someone.

‘Is that?’

‘Afraid it is.’

‘Oh God.’

‘I never… Intended to forget about him. I don’t know how I could. Oh… Poor Mr. Stringer. I should have stopped this. Had I just…’

‘We’ll talk outside, not here between the smoke’, Sidney promised, stooping to pick up Mr. Stringer’s body like a wounded dear and carrying him out over his shoulders.

Charlotte blinked away her tears and followed, carefully shuffling behind him through the dark hallway.

With a groan, Sidney laid Mr. Stringer down outside. The outside air, despite having felt warm not minutes before, now felt icy cold. But she welcomed it, drawing deep breaths of pure air.

‘There’s nought you could have done. He didn’t die from the fire’, Sidney gently informed as he stood again.

She looked up, rubbing her arms to keep warm, and cover her breaking heart. She felt vulnerable and stupid. It had been careless of her to forget about Mr. Stringer.

‘How do you know?’

‘He laid right near the burning furniture. What man doesn’t try to run from the fire? If he knocked the candle over, it would have been easy to extinguish it. He didn’t. If the candle fell and something caught flame, why not run outside and alarm everyone?’

Charlotte’s heart dropped.

‘The fire didn’t kill him’, she repeated to herself.

That meant that, even if she stopped the fire, he would still die. She couldn’t save him. Not that it made her feel any better, if anything it made her feel worse. No matter what she did tonight, she couldn’t help James Stringer. He would lose his father in every version of today. The only thing she could do was make sure he had an unmutilated body to mourn, and didn’t have a hard conversation to torment him.

Now he would have to carry his guilt forever, if time continued as it should.

‘It didn’t.’

‘We stopped the fire but he still died.’

The adrenalin had dissipated, and now Charlotte was cold through and through, her emotions piercing through the haze of determination.

Before the first sob had properly left her throat Sidney was near her, his arms around her.

‘Shh. You did what you could.’

‘I didn’t… If I hadn’t forgotten about him I could have made sure he and Mr. Stringer didn’t have a quarrel today. Had I remembered him being present, we could have told him to leave the terrace on our way towards the party. Then he would have died at home, peacefully and not a single room would have been burned. There’s so much I could have done.’

‘Charlotte, you’re just one person. You can’t remember everything. You’ve tried to save all of us for two nights in a row now, on your own. You can’t help everyone.’

‘But see, it is my responsibility. I’m the only one who remembers. I’m the only one who can change anything. Even if I didn’t fail Sanditon I could have done better. I could’ve – I could’ve….’

Sidney pressed her closer against his chest. He was the only thing holding her upright as she cried, gently stroking her hair, whispering comforting words into her ear.

‘You’re not alone. You should never be alone in this, dear Charlotte. No matter what happens after tonight. I’m here for you. Tell me what you did again, if you wake up tomorrow on this cursed day… I’ll believe you. I’ll help you in any way I can. And if time continues…’

Her eyes flickered towards his, still stinging and bleary from the smoke.

‘Charlotte I-‘

‘Sidney?’

‘Miss Heywood!’

The voices of Arthur and Diana broke them apart.

‘Miss Heywood wasn’t feeling well and I was escorting her home. We noticed a fire. Unfortunately there was still a workman in the house, he died and Miss Heywood was in shock’, Sidney quickly explained.

‘Oh dear!’

‘I’ll go and tell Tom. Charlotte are you – ‘

‘I’ll come.’

She had ruined this. She had to tell Mr. Stringer. She rather he heard it from her mouth.

‘But, isn’t it wiser to clean up first? I mean the state of you?’

Charlotte’s gaze slid downwards. Her dress had been ruined by the mud and smoke, and Sidney’s dapper costume was ruined by soot.

‘A man has died. The party’s over as far as I’m concerned’, Sidney growled before stalking away.

‘But – ‘ Diana and Arthur ran after him into Wickham Street, Charlotte following some distance behind.

She had saved the Parkers, but not the Stringers. Now that she had realized it, she couldn’t forget it. Every time she woke up on this day, it ended fatally for old Mr. Stringer.

On the outside of the assembly rooms, they bumped into Lord Babington on the stairs, sitting beside Mr. Stringer.

‘Babington?’ Sidney questioned.

‘My friend’, the other man smiled sadly, standing up and brushing imaginary dust from his clothes.

‘What’s happening? Why aren’t you inside?’

‘That’s a long story sir’, Mr. Stringer announced with a tired smile.

 _Oh dear, in front of all those people?_ Charlotte thought.

She could see Sidney squaring his shoulders and moving his jaw in a way she now recognized as him steeling himself to do something unpleasant. He was going to tell him. No, she couldn’t let that happen, not in the presence of Arthur, Diana and Lord Babington. He deserved to be alone and process it without people staring at him.

‘Mr. Stringer, I must speak to you’, Charlotte blurted.

Mr. Stringer stood and moved towards her, Charlotte walking backwards with every step he took towards her to put as much distance between him and the others as possible.

‘Is this about that promised da- Miss Heywood, are you alright?’ his gaze grew concerned when he noticed her dirty clothes and ruined gloves.

‘I am. But I’m afraid I have very bad news.’

The smile was now nowhere to be seen.

‘Anything. You can tell me.’

‘It’s… it’s your father.’

‘What?’

‘I- he- there was an accident.’

‘Accident?’ he repeated, fear seeping into his features.

‘Come with me, I’ll explain on our way. At the new terrace of the Parker crescent.’

She broke into a jog and he followed.

‘Please just tell me. What is-‘

‘I-‘

She couldn’t do it.

How could you tell someone their father just died?

Her jog broke, feet shooting root as she looked at his shoes.

‘Your father died. We found him in the building. The room was burning. But we fear he died beforehand. He wasn’t even anywhere near a door to get out. I’m sorry. I’m so so sorry. We couldn’t do anything to help. Mr. Stringer I’m so sorry for your loss.’

Mr. Stringer grew quiet.

‘Died?’

‘I’m sorry.’

‘You… You couldn’t have done anything.’

_I could have prevented you from finding out this way, from having to bury a half-burned man, from fighting on his final day on earth._

Charlotte didn’t know what to say, consumed by guilt. Instead she started walking towards the terrace. He joined in behind her.

‘I saw him just hours ago. All workmen were supposed to leave and I asked him to. But he wouldn’t. He refused. It was almost done he said’, Mr. Stringer shared, voice wrought with emotion.

‘Our last words… I was so careless. So excited to go to the ball and so angry with him for not being happy for me that I got the apprenticeship.’

‘Mr. Stringer, I – ‘ but guilt choked her voice. Already he was starting to torture himself by their final words. He wouldn’t have had this issue had she talked to him today.

The terrace loomed in front of them.

‘Mr. Parker carried him out. But we didn’t know where to go. We wanted to tell you first’, Charlotte explained, feeling conscious because of how they’d left him behind. But it was true, where could they have brought him to?

Mr. Stringer nodded, rushing towards his father.

Was she supposed to remain? The moment was so intimate and painful. She shouldn’t be on onlooker while he grieved.

‘Is there anything I can do?’ she asked as she watched him sit beside his father.

‘Can’t possibly ask you, Miss.’

She could hear by his voice that he was crying.

Even now the buildings didn’t burn, she felt a keen sense of failure.

‘Please, just ask me. I’d do anything to help.’

‘The undertaker, he needs to go to the undertaker. He’s not far from here, just down Tilney Street.’

‘I’ll help.’

‘I’ll take his body, that will be the heaviest,’ Mr. Stringer offered.

 _For a son to touch his dead father’s burned legs_ , no it was far better she did it. Charlotte shivered as she approached. Mr. Stringer stroked his father’s hair gently, pressing a kiss against his forehead.

‘Ready?’ Mr. Stringer asked.

Charlotte nodded quietly, closing her eyes as she wrapped her hands around the burned trousers around his ankles. It felt wrong. So wrong.

She swallowed away the bile that was rising in her throat.

‘One. Two. Three.’

His weight was lighter than expected, Charlotte noted.

‘Miss Heywood, I don’t have the words.’

‘Don’t thank me.’

She didn’t deserve his thanks.

They carried him towards the undertaker, Mr. Stringer knocking on his door and going in while Charlotte remained outside. The assembly rooms across Denham Square beckoned her. Her heartrate was still irregular, whether that was due to carrying a corpse, seeing James’ grief or something else, she didn’t know. But she had to see Sidney, she had to know everything else was alright.

She knew she looked a fright, but she couldn’t care as she stomped through the little park, taking off her gloves and throwing them away without looking. A shiver ran down her spine. She didn’t want to see the colours on the palms of her gloves.

Inside, she found Sidney arguing with Tom, exchanging frustrated words.

‘A man died Tom!’

‘Which is unfortunate but honestly no one was supposed to be there. Work was supposed to stop at seven!’

‘You will pay for the funeral, don’t try to argue.’

Sidney’s gaze moved away from Tom, throwing a tense smile in her direction, but his eyebrows were raised in question. She shook her head. Mary, who had been standing beside her husband, stopped listening to Tom and looked in her direction as well, rushing towards her.

‘Oh Charlotte dear. Are you alright?’

She had just carried a dead man, she wasn’t alright.

‘What happened here?’ she asked instead.

‘Not soon after you left Sir Denham came in, saying all kinds of horrible things. Everybody was too shocked to move, I won’t repeat what he said. It was most improper. Lord Babington tried to escort him, but he broke away multiple times, continuing to speak until Mr. Stringer jumped in to help. I wonder where he is.’

‘At the undertaker, for his father’, Charlotte answered quietly.

Mary’s eyes grew.

‘Oh, it was… Oh, the poor soul.’

Charlotte nodded.

Sidney hadn’t been here to drag Edward away. Had that resulted in Edward saying even more? She had told Sidney about Edward, but they hadn’t thought about it at all when they’d made their plans.

‘Mary, what happened then?’

‘They escorted him to a coach. Poor Miss Denham ran away and wasn’t seen again. Oh, but you don’t understand why. He was speaking to her and saying all those awful things to her the whole time he was here. Poor dear, her reputation is quite tainted now. And we’ve also found out why Lady Denham sent Miss Brereton away.’

‘No engagement?’ Charlotte asked in confusion.

‘Engagement? What engagement? Who got engaged?’

Charlotte staggered backwards.

She was going to be sick.

Mr. Stringer had died.

And in Sidney and hers attempt to save the buildings, they had been absent during a crucial moment in Esther’s and Babington’s lives.

She hadn’t been there to catch and comfort Esther and Sidney hadn’t been there to drag Edward away with his strength.

Zero engagements instead of two.

Mr. Stringer still dead.

Was this even remotely alright?

Could Mr. Stringer heal from this?

Did she and Esther still stand a chance of receiving proposals and becoming happy if they woke up tomorrow on the twenty-fifth?

Sidney, Arthur and Tom floated towards them.

‘It’s useless to cancel the party, we have agreed’, Tom announced though he didn’t look very happy.

‘The damage to the buildings is minimal and it can wait until tomorrow. It will be alright. Just perhaps a week’s delay in selling that particular building, my dears. We’ll arrange the funeral for the poor worker soon.’

‘Mr. Stringer’, Charlotte snapped.

‘His name is Mr. Stringer. He just died for your building project, at least have the respect to use the name of the man who worked for you for years.’

She was tired of the suffering, fire and death this night brought.

Tom’s jaw dropped. She felt instantly guilty for her outburst.

‘I’m sorry. I’m just… shocked.’

She wasn’t. She was angry at how powerless she was and how careless he was. It didn’t shock her anymore, it saddened and angered her, but it wasn’t shocking someone wound up dead while working for Tom.

‘Perhaps Miss Heywood should retire, the night has been very taxing on her’, Sidney suggested.

‘Yes. Quite right. Poor Miss Heywood. I can’t imagine what it must be like to see a building burn and find a man dead. The thought. Go to bed, my dear. All will be better in the morning after a proper night’s rest.’

All looked at him in horror and disgust. Tom’s smile turned awkward before he stepped back.

‘I have to return, as the master of ceremony.’

‘Miss Heywood, are you al- no silly question. Is there anything you need?’ Arthur asked.

Charlotte shook her head, laying her shaking hand on Sidney’s arm.

Once again, he lead her through the streets to the Parker family home, dropping her neatly into the hallway.

‘I wish I could comfort you in any way.’

‘I don’t believe I want to be comfortable… When someone is mourning their father. It’s not normal to be alright after witnessing death.’

‘I wish we could have helped it. But… We will never be able to help him’, Sidney said.

She knew he wasn’t just talking about tonight. Even if there was a repeat, dead was inevitable.

She nodded and he pulled her towards him a final time.

‘Mourn tonight. And however long you need. Your anger and grief are justified. But it will get easier. In time. Coming from a man who did loose his father at a young age.’

Charlotte nodded gingerly.

‘Hey.’

He took her chin between his index finger and thumb.

‘You’ve done well, Charlotte. You wasted no time trying to save those buildings, and tried to save Mr. Stringer as soon as you remembered. You did well today. You did well, Admiral Heywood.’

Charlotte had to smile in spite of herself at the nickname.

‘If… There is a tomorrow. Perhaps we could… Have a talk?’

‘About?’

His eyes dropped to her lips.

‘A more joyful topic perhaps. But today it wasn’t appropriate. It still won’t be tomorrow. But then at least we don’t have a town to save.’

Charlotte nodded.

‘I’d like that.’

‘Goodnight.’

‘Goodnight.’

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> As always, if you like it, leave a comment or kudo. 
> 
> Also, amidst this second wave: stay safe and in good health xoxo


	4. The fourth Midsummer Ball

> **_“A man who dares to waste one hour of time has not discovered the value of life.”_ **
> 
> **_― Charles Darwin_ **

Charlotte woke up due to the maid knocking on the door.

She felt better rested, her muscles humming with relaxed contentment. Right, she had gone to bed earlier last night than the previous two, and hadn’t spent her last hours awake extinguishing a fire.

She rolled onto her side, noticing that once again her clothes had gone.

She didn’t even feel the need to check for other signals. There was virtually no panic or sadness left in her, perhaps she’d spent it all.

She would be going through the same day again. But today she felt a new sense of purpose.

She’d wished for happiness. She had expected that in time, she would find reasons to smile again, things to do, people to love. Her parents told her everything got better in time, but that sometimes you had to work to get there. The star had taken that very literally, she got not one but three opportunities to fix the past and ensure her happiness.

She had been brought back to recover her happiness and today she would fix not only her own fate, but the fate of everyone in Sanditon. The Parkers, Mr. Stringer’s, Esther’s and her own. Today, all would end the day as happily as possible.

She wouldn’t waste an hour. Once everything was solved, she could let the day continue.

Now that she knew all the stakes and variables, it wasn’t even hard.

Inform Sidney so he’d help her.

Tell Young Stringer to be kind to his father and vice versa.

Make sure all workers were sent home so that Mr. Stringer couldn’t continue working until his death.

Install more guards so that Edward couldn’t interrupt the ball.

How easy it all seemed, she could lean back and enjoy the ball. There would be nothing left to change after eight in the evening. It sounded manageable. Yes, she could do this. She could save Sanditon and her fate!

‘Miss?’

‘I’m fine.’

‘Are you presentable?’

‘Yes.’

The door opened.

‘I’ll help you.’

‘This dress, miss?’ the maid asked, holding up the same white dress she’d worn twice before. Her lips quirked upwards.

‘Yes, thank you.’

Downstairs the children had already moved to the drawing room, so she had breakfast with Mary in peace. She had a little bit less time this morning, given that she landed in a timeline in which she awoke later rather than early. But she could still manage.

‘The children have been racing through the house all morning, it’s a wonder you didn’t wake up.’

‘I must have been tired’, Charlotte answered, repeating her words again.

‘Indeed, they made a mess of the place, leaving toys everywhere. To be young’, Mary sighed fondly, looking around the breakfast room.

‘It looks pretty clean.’

‘I already cleaned a bit so it looks a bit more in order. A mother’s job is always running one step after the children to clean up after them.’

‘But you are a wonderful mother.’

‘Thank you dear. That’s kind. But it does get tiring sometimes. I admit I rarely have the energy to clean up after the biggest child.’

‘Mr. Parker?’ Charlotte asked innocently.

‘ I don’t know how he does it, but he’s made a mess of his office again. And I understood you put things in order no three days ago?’

‘I did.’

‘Sometimes I believe they see a clean room as an invitation to make a mess again. It’s Sysyphus torture, we clean only so it can get dirty again. Could you perhaps have a look at it? If you have time today, that is. I know you have a dress fitting. And you probably have other things to do as well. People to see.’

Actually Charlotte didn’t want to anymore. She’d always had a busy day today yet she’d always made time for him. Perhaps it was because she’d been cleaning up after him for the third day in a row, but even so she was their guest, yet she had been entertaining their children, helping Tom with organizing events and cleaning his room for months. She liked to help and liked to be useful, it was how she’d been raised. She couldn’t possibly _not_ help when she saw someone in need of it. It was the right thing to do. But on the other hand Tom was an adult twice her age. She could keep her room clean, why couldn’t he? She even developed a sorting and storing system especially suited to him, he only had to use it. She understood Mary was too busy, understood why they might not want the maids to nose between their paperwork, but why did no one consider asking Tom to clean up after himself?

‘I’ll try my best, but I’m quite busy today.’

‘No problem, dear. You’re our guest, it’s already kind of you to help us as you do’, Mary smiled tiredly.

She wondered how much time she had left before Sidney would arrive. It was another June twenty-fourth she wouldn’t visit Georgiana, but there were priorities. Perhaps if she had time left after her dress fitting, she could go tonight. Or propose to get ready together. Yes, certainly that was an amiable suggestion.

But wait. If she saw Sidney now, and went on a walk with him, and then got ready with Georgiana, when would she visit Mr. Stringer? She didn’t actually know when they had their fight. Perhaps it was better to go now, during the timespan she usually visited Georgiana. She could always catch Sidney during lunch or after, when she was in Tom’s office. She could tell him on their walk.

‘Is it fine if I try to do it this afternoon? I’ve got to see a friend this morning.’

‘Oh no, not at all. But don’t forget you have a dressfitting as well.’

‘I won’t’, Charlotte promised as she finished her eggs and tea.

‘Mr. Stringer.’

‘Miss Heywood!’ James Stringer greeted cheerfully. He put down his paintbrush from where he was working in the hallway of one of the terrace buildings and wiped his hands on his trousers.

‘How are you miss?’ he asked as he approached her.

‘I am well. And you?’

‘Very well miss, very well.’

He bit his lip, eyes dancing with excitement and her stomach was once again filled with dread. How happy and adorable he was now, and how sombre he would end his night, and all nights following. She wished he could stay as happy as he was now.

‘

‘Actually, I’ve got to share some pretty good news. I planned telling you tonight, but figure I might as well now.’

‘Oh?’

Before Mr. Stringer could talk, a bell run, signalling lunchtime.

Dozens of men poured out of the houses, their clothes covered in paint, including old Mr. Stringer.

‘Son… Miss eh… Heywood’, he greeted grimly.

As much as it hurt her to see Mr. Stringer go from happy to sad, burying all his dreams, it was equally bad to see Mr. Stringer always unhappy, dying before he ever got joyful.

‘Father’, Mr. Stringer smiled jovially.

He laid his hand on his father’s shoulder. ‘I was just about to tell Miss Heywood some news. Might as well tell you to.’

‘Oh, well. And what news might that be?’ old Mr. Stringer inquired as he rubbed his hands on his trouser. But Mr. Stringer was an old experienced man. His clothes were old and worn, but mostly clean. Barely a splash of paint covered them.

‘I just got a letter. From London’, he said, his eyes moving from his father to Charlotte. His eyes twinkled with excitement. He was waiting for her to catch on.

Charlotte smiled widely, showing she understood.

‘And what did this letter say?’ his father pressed, shifting restlessly from leg to leg.

An impatient practical man, without interest in long stories.

‘I got accepted to be an apprentice. I might become an architect.’

‘Oh Mr. Stringer, that’s wonderful!’

His father’s mouth pulled sour.

‘Isn’t this life good enough for you? Our life. You get good wages, and it’s always been enough for me and my father and his.’

_Ah, this was where it would go wrong._

This was why Mr. Stringer decided to stay. Because if he left, it would be like saying his father hadn’t been good enough.

Before Mr. Stringer could answer, Charlotte knew she needed to pacify the conversation. Before it even got violent.

‘Mr. Stringer has been very happy in Sanditon. But why shouldn’t he go to London to better his skillset? Surely, it’s a sign of his intellect and talent that this architect wants to take him on?’ Charlotte asked gently.

Mr. Stringer nodded impatiently.

‘I have no doubt my son’s intelligent, Miss. But James, these London folk aren’t like us.’

‘Father, I’m trying to better our stance in society’, Mr. Stringer interjected.

‘You’ve been hurt on the job, you’re getting older. Men in our family never really got old. And our wages are fair yes, if we get paid them. You wouldn’t have to work a day in your life anymore, if I got that title.’

Charlotte tentatively hoped the conversation was moving in the right direction. It wasn’t an ungrateful son talking to a father stuck in his ways, it was a boy wanting to provide for his father.

His father bit his lip, still torn obviously.

‘What’s the worst that could happen? If he fails, which I doubt he will, he will just return and live like it always was. Trying doesn’t hurt’, Charlotte defended, careful to keep her voice down so as not to agitate anyone.

‘It’s not that. Of course he’ll want to do well. But I wonder if they’ll let him.’

‘Let me? What do you mean, father?’

‘Well’, his father nodded. ‘We ain’t like them. They don’t want folks like us taking their jobs, working our way up. And they’re very different, with their noses in the air, feeling all superior. I just wouldn’t want you to get ridiculed or hurt, or embarrassed. Even if they’re good folks you’ll probably be hiding your roots and our accent all your life to get hired. If you stay here, there’s no getting disappointed or being looked down upon. Everyone’s like us here, with the occasional exception.’

That sounded so rational, yet sad. Charlotte found herself nodding along. If London in general was anything like Mrs. Campion, she could definitely imagine Mr. Stringer having a hard time there.

‘But I’m in it for me, for us. For work. I can stand hardships.’

‘But architects go by name.’

‘If I do a good job, I’ll have a good name. I could start out around here, where my accent won’t stand out. They are not going to blame someone for an accent in the region that accent is spoken.’

‘Do the Parkers sound like you? Do the Denhams? They don’t. And they’ll be the ones hiring you.’

‘Father, I understand. And I understand your concerns. But if that’s true, no man can ever change his fate. No man can ever climb above his station. But there are hundreds of examples of men from humbler beginnings working their way up. Would you say there’s no use in honest work, since one gets rewarded according to station instead of merit? No, you taught me honest work gets rewarded. And the Lord wants us to take the right and honest path, even if it’s a difficult one. I’m not afraid to work hard or have it difficult. I can stand hardships, father’, Mr. Stringer promised as he took his father’s hands.

His father was now struggling, the conflict clear on his face.

‘I can’t help you over there, so far from home.’

‘Nor I you, and that worries me.’

‘Don’t worry for me. If you start throwing the Lord’s name around, then I can go and say that the Lord will call for me when he pleases, whether you are present or not.’

_That might be a lot earlier than either of you expects._

Charlotte cringed. How prophetic this conversation now sounded. Perhaps this statement could offer Mr. Stringer some strength, when tragedy struck tonight. To know his father didn’t expect his help and that he couldn’t have done anything about it.

‘And then the Lord will test me however he pleases, and give me the hardships he believes I can handle’, Mr. Stringer said softly.

His father nodded, and both men looked at each other with glassy eyes.

It’s going to work. They’re not going to fight.

Mr. Stringer made the first move, hugging his dad.

‘I don’t look down on you. Just know that. I don’t feel too good to lead your life, I just want other things.’

‘I just want you to have a good life.’

The men came apart as quickly as they came together, aware that they stood in the middle of the street, Charlotte still next to them.

‘I’m happy for you, Mr. Stringer. I’m sure you’ll do wonderful.’

Her eyes flickered to the building they’d come out of. It had been Old Stringer’s tomb thrice now.

‘Is… the building coming along?’

‘It’ll be finished by tonight, if we work as long and hard as we’re able’, his father nodded, staring grimly at the buildings, his shoulders rolling as if they already hurt at the thought of working so long.

‘Well, no longer then seven o’clock. Work is supposed to stop then. And no one is getting paid for working longer.’

‘Yea, but waking up and having a day’s more work to do is silly if just a few hours more means you’re done with the project’, Mr. Stringer defended.

‘I don’t always think of the money. I have pride in my job. I like finishing everything neatly.’

‘But it is dark not long after. Don’t you get a better view of what you’re doing in the daylight?’

‘I-‘ his father started, but Mr. Stringer poked his father with his elbow.

‘We do, actually, regardless of what my father says. But of course we can deliver work by candlelight, if we must. But indeed father, everyone’s celebrating or just relaxing tonight, why don’t you,’

‘I’ll work until they drag me out’, he mumbled. ‘And now if you don’t mind, I’m sorry miss, I’ll eat before I miss my entire lunchbreak’, he nodded before taking off.

‘I apologize for my father Miss Heywood he-‘

‘Oh no, it’s fine. I understand completely. Please, enjoy your lunch Mr. Stringer. You’ll need the energy for the afternoon. A good day.’

‘A very good day, Miss’, he smiled as they took their leave of each other.

After lunch she quickly moved to Tom’s office, supressing a yawn as she entered.

How did he even manage to get it this messy in so few days?

She picked up a sheet, her eyes scanning the title. She was so tired of doing it. Her muscles were tense and her heartbeat still high. She felt the need to do something, to actively try and change today. Yet she was stuck doing paperwork.

_In less than an hour I’ll be out and talking to Sidney. It’ll be fine. I still have time._

A rumbling in the hallway halted her, hands still filled with documents. Loud footsteps thudded on the creaking floor, moving towards the study.

The door flew open, Tom barging in with a pleased smile.

‘Hard at work Charlotte? Ah, the whole world wants to come to Sanditon, and just in time for the midsummer night's ball.’

‘Yes’, she muttered.

_Not even a thanks? Actually, she couldn’t remember a twenty-fourth where he’d thanked her. He treated it as if it were evident she help him. Not a pressing worry, Heywood, get your act together. Just let everything run its natural course until you are outside._

Tom turned away from her.

Sidney!’

‘Ah Tom, those contracts have arrived from London.’

‘Ah excellent, I'll deal with them at once.’

‘Miss Heywood, I'm going for a walk and I wondered if there was anything you needed in town.’

Her heart skipped a beat. His look always managed to unsettle her, so intense and emotive, even with a neutral face.

‘Oh i-ehm. I have a dress fitting for the ball. Perhaps I could walk with you?’

‘Of course, it'd be my pleasure.’

‘Come on then, off you go you two’, Mary smiled, encouraging her towards Sidney.

By now Charlotte was sure she could tell the exact moment a gull would pass over their heads and what time a wave would crash against the rocks.

I do hope this is the last time. Even if I don’t end up engaged, Sanditon and everyone in it will be fine. I want time to move on.

‘I know that what I am about to say sounds impossible and strange, but I need you to be open-minded’, Charlotte started.

‘What is the matter?’

‘A carriage will pass us and one of the horses will be startled by a stray dog.’

‘Wha-‘

He couldn’t even finish his word before the event she predicted unfolded. Sidney jumped back, eyes growing wide.

Charlotte bit her lip, but couldn’t help smiling at his expression. His eyes shot to her, eyebrows raised inquisitively.

‘A mother will be complaining about how her child bought the wrong fish at the market in this street’, Charlotte told as she turned a corner.

Sidney followed her with his eyes before moving to follow behind.

‘What sorcery’, he muttered as once again Charlotte’s prediction turned out right.

She was too tired of repeating the same conversations.

‘Tonight during the ball, the terrace will burn down. Tom will be in debt, seriously in debt. We’re talking owing seventy thousand to all kinds of banks and people who lent him money .’

Shock, disbelief and fear warred on his face before he turned guarded.

‘And how do you know this?’

‘Because today is the fourth time I’ve woken up on June twenty-fourth. I… I know it sounds impossible, and for a time, I refused to believe it myself. But it’s true. That’s also how I managed to predict what just happened. I’ve had this walk with you four times now.’

‘You’re saying you time travelled?’

Charlotte nodded. It was clear he was a lot more disturbed than the first time around. She had provided evidence first, and it was clear the only logical explanation could be her having witnessed it before.

‘Why would Tom be in such debt if the buildings burned? An insurance covers any costs arising from accidents.’

‘Because he hasn’t ensured the buildings.’

‘Hasn’t insured the…’ Sidney backed away, anger visible on his face. ‘Why wouldn’t he insure the buildings? He’d have to be an idiot not … to ensure… The buildings.’

He was considering it. He shook his head again, as if he tried to rid himself of the notion. It was even more amusing to Charlotte to notice how consistent his body language was every time they had this conversation. He had such fixed responses.

‘He has cut corners before.’

‘As much as I don’t want to believe you, I can’t even doubt your words. Do you also happen to know why he did it?’

‘He wanted to get the terrace done, spending money on an insurance left him without money to invest in building supplies and he wanted them sold so he again had money to continue building.’

‘His greed and megalomania know no bounds. But he could have told you this. Or you could have found a document. However, I don’t see why you would lie.’

‘There’ll be three bathing machines in the sea’, Charlotte announced as they walked down Waterloo Road towards the Bennet Promenade.

They reached the promenade overlooking the beach.

‘I only see one.’

‘Just wait.’

As they walked over the promenade, sand that had blown from the beach onto the promenade grinded underneath her feet. Sidney was silent for a while, before he continued their conversation.

‘I’ll ask him about the insurance. And I’ll tell Mary. For years, we let him run Sanditon as he wanted to. He is the oldest brother. An independent man. We trusted him, even though I disliked how he ran his business. Even though I was tired and wary of him, as he always managed to get me and Arthur to help out when things got hot underneath his feet. He managed to use a sense of brotherhood and guilt and me owing him things to get me to help. Every now and then I caved in and helped out. Arthur always did as asked. But I now see I never tackled the root of all problems.’

‘Being?’

‘Tom not being held accountable for his deeds. He answers to no one. Goes unchecked by everyone. Enough. Since he was twenty-five he was involved in Sanditon and he still hasn’t learned basic things like putting workers first, ensuring safety, not spending more than comes in and investing in insurances. All this time he gambled with not only his money, but everyone’s. And he risked not only his life, but that of his employees and his wife and children, all while keeping all of them in the dark about how he conducts his business. You say I should love my family and be there for them instead of running away as I did in the past. This is me standing up. Tom’s free reign ends tomorrow. Mary needs to be in on what Tom is doing. She’s wise and capable. It will hurt her to discover the truth, but she has a right to it. So does Lady Denham. We’ll keep Tom in check. He’ll have to start sharing his finances with us, everything that comes in. Everything that goes out. Every plan needs to be approved by us. It’s the only way to let him continue this project.’

Charlotte nodded. She would have opposed his vision in the past. Saying he should support his brother instead of critique him. But the past three days, now that her rose tinted glasses had gone and she saw the people and problems in Sanditon for what they were, it had become clear that Tom was in need of a nanny. It would require a lot of time and effort of Sidney, Charlotte couldn’t be prouder or happy with his decision. It was what Tom needed.

‘I understand.’

They passed the road towards the Assembly Rooms and the golden promenade turned into a dirt road leading up towards the cove.

Sidney’s coat fluttered in the wind. Charlotte watched his head move to the side.

‘Ah, there are two and three’, he noted dryly. Charlotte followed his line of sight, noticing the second and third bathing machine in the sea. She was once again right.

‘We will also pass an arguing couple on our way back. But that’s not important. None of it is.’

‘What is, then? Why are you telling me all these things that will happen?’

‘Tonight, if we don’t change the course of events. Sanditon’s future is at stake. At the ball Edward will barge in and demand Esther admit she loves him in front of the whole ballroom. Then Arthur will come running in, after he left together with Diana, telling he saw the fire. Then we all run out and discover the new terrace is burning. It’ll burn to the ground. Completely destroyed.’

His tan face paled.

‘This is certain?’

‘It all depends on what we do. It’s been different every time.’

‘How has it been then?’

‘Originally, we had this walk on the clifftops, then the ball happened, then the fire. The whole terrace burned down and you had to find money, or Tom would go to debtor’s prison. Since no one would give Tom any more money you… engaged yourself to Mrs. Campion to save your family.’

Sidney grew silent, nodding sternly. 

‘And the second time?

‘Only one building burned down, because we went to the terrace earlier and got more people to help. But I woke up yesterday and it was the day of the ball again.’

‘The third time?’

‘Only one room burned a bit. But old Mr. Stringer still died, as he did all previous times. Unrelated to the fire apparently, but he was always still working in the room the fire started in. However, because we left the ball, some things changed and Miss Denham and Lord Babington didn’t end up getting engaged.’

‘They get engaged at the ball today?’

Charlotte nodded.

‘Why though? Why do you keep waking up on the same day? I have no recollection of this.’

‘It’s only me. Only I repeat it time again. For everyone else it feels like the first time. It’s a mystery to me as well. Yesterday though, because of your questions, I remembered that at the end of summer I wished upon a star to be happy again, and I ended up here. Repeating this day every day, for three days in a row now.’

The lines on his forehead grew deeper. The wind was tearing at their clothes. It made her shiver.

He nodded slowly.

‘You’ve been unhappy.’

He hadn’t said that before. How could she answer? Answering that question would without a doubt hurt him. He’d take it as his responsibility even though he hadn’t been able to do anything about it.

‘Because I had to engage myself to Mrs. Campion due to Tom… And if that wasn’t enough you also got stuck in time.’

He bit his cheek, turning around as he flexed his hands. Once again she could see his mounting agitation. They were almost near the top now, where they had kissed before. Or gotten engaged. She didn’t know what today would bring, but her stomach decided to be uneasy just in case.

‘I am indebted to you, Charlotte. In just a couple of months you transformed me, transformed Sanditon. You even managed to make my relationship with Georgiana slightly less strained. There’s not a life you’ve touched that you haven’t changed for the better. How unfair it is that we all touched yours for the worse.’

‘You didn’t’, she protested softly.

‘You’re meant to find your happiness today. And you haven’t been able to do so. So whatever it is you need to reach it, I’ll help you in any way I can. Wherever your happiness lies. Whatever the price. I can’t bear the thought of you being condemned to an eternity of having to relive this day. Do you have any idea what you want? What you need?’

_Yes. Yes. Yes._

_You, I need you._

I need your arms around me, your lips against mine, your promise of forever. I need Sanditon whole and unburnt, everyone happy and all sadness put to an end.

‘Actually, I have some ideas. Of course, if we follow my ideas, you’ll never see the fire and I’ll have no way to prove that I went through this day four times.’

‘You’ve said enough to convince me. I rather not you try and convince me at the cost of the town burning.’

A smile fought its way through Charlotte’s frowning face.

‘We need to make sure that all workers are gone before the ball starts. I visited Mr. Stringer this morning and he said he’d have to be dragged out of the buildings in the evening. But that’s always when he dies and when the fire starts. Not having him there means the place is actually deserted without a candle burning to start the fire.’

‘That can be arranged. I’ll stop there. I don’t need a long toilette to get ready for the ball. It’s easy. Anything else?’

‘Well, that’ll prevent the fire. That’s the biggest concern. Secondly though there is the matter of Esther.’

‘Tell me.’

‘Well I’m in doubt, you see. Normally Sir Edward breaks into the ball. He begs Esther to take him back, probably because she’s the only one able to inherit Lady Denham’s fortune now and he has no chance of inheriting the money himself anymore. Anyway, he thoroughly embarrasses her and stains her name before he’s dragged off by you and Lord Babington and put on the coach to London. Usually we were so busy with the Sir Edward business that by the time I’ve comforted Esther and you’ve dragged Edward away that Arthur comes running in telling about the fire. But yesterday we were already out, and had extinguished the fire before Edward arrived. By the time we returned, Esther had run off because I wasn’t there to stop her. Edward had managed to say even more in the full ballroom because you weren’t there to drag him away. Normally I comfort Esther and then Lord Babington comes in to talk to her and they get engaged. So now I’m conflicted. I wonder if by accident, if we bar Sir Edward from entering…’

‘You’ll change fate and that way Miss Denham and Babington don’t get engaged.’

‘Yes. But on the other hand: does Esther need to suffer through that harassment? Surely if we are able to prevent it, we’re meant to stop it?’

‘Indeed. But do the advantages outweigh the risks? Is she happy in this marriage?’

‘She looked very happy on her wedding day. And she was excited for her wedding day.’

‘Then the gossip wasn’t that bad. I’d say we go for an in-between.’

‘What?’

‘I install some more servants at the entrance of the ballroom and we’ll allow destiny to run its course, but I cut him short before he manages to say much.’

‘You always only react when Lady Denham asks you to escort him out.’

‘Then I’ll do it before she feels the need to say it. Then we shorten Esther’s embarrassment while still allowing her perhaps to be a little hurt.’

‘Perhaps… That’s safe’, Charlotte admitted unhappily. It appeared that some heartbreak was unavoidable.

‘Charlotte’, Sidney breathed, taking a step closer. ‘Is there anything else? You can ask me everything.’

Her heart jumped.

‘Not really. I think that if we manage to prevent the fire and Sir Edward, almost everyone’s lives will be better. And though I fear old Mr. Stringer will still die, I managed to prevent a fight between father and son this morning. Mr. Stringer told me their argument haunted him after his death.’

‘But that’s all them. You were sent back here because you were unhappy.’

There was always a time, a fleeting moment, when Charlotte was out shooting, that her prey looked up with round black eyes. In that instant they knew they were going to get shot and weren’t able to escape. She tried not to empathize with them or look in their eyes, it’s how her siblings missed their shots. But his gaze, so piercing, might as well be a gun. And she was the deer without escape.

He took another step. His hands found hers, his thumbs rubbing circles over her palms.

‘Esther marrying, Tom avoiding debtor’s prison… How does that tie into your happiness?’

‘I-‘

‘Is there anything else? Did anything else go wrong today?’

‘Not wrong, per say’, she answered softly.

His hand was creeping up her arm. Fingers sliding from her elbow to her back to pull her closer.

He knew, she realized.

‘There was… one thing that happened the first time.’

‘Being?’

‘We kissed here. And I believe you were going to propose that night before Sir Edward stormed in.’

‘I was planning to – but then… the fire… Tom… You said I engaged myself with Mrs. Campion.’

Charlotte nodded.

‘What happened the other times?’

Charlotte shrugged, avoiding his heated gaze.

‘Charlotte’, he pressed.

Her heart broke at the sound of her name on his tongue.

‘We got engaged the second time. The damage was lesser, but it left you without an option to seek her money.’

‘The third?’ he asked as he pulled her so close she was flush against him.

Charlotte shook her head.

‘Sanditon came first.’

‘Not for me it doesn’t.’

She felt his warm hand against her cheek, but she couldn’t meet his gaze. It was too painful. How many times did she have to lose him today?

He took her chin between his thumb and index finger, gently lifting her head.

‘Please, Charlotte’, he begged.

How could she refuse? She met his gaze, her eyes tearing up at the gentleness she saw in them.

‘I did plan on asking you today Charlotte. I’m sure there’s not a world I woke up in on this day in which I didn’t want you. In all ways a man can want a woman. Although I had planned on an elaborate speech with carefully chosen words. But it appears that there’ll never be a June twenty-fourth where I get that opportunity. So this will have to do. I made you unhappy in the past, by having to put my family before you – ‘

Charlotte opened her mouth to defend him, but he didn’t give her the opportunity.

‘But that will not be necessary today. I’ll make sure of it. Although I can’t take back that twenty-fourth from your memory, I will do everything in my power to make this twenty-fourth a happy one. And all days following. You have known such unhappiness, and now you’re stuck repeating the past because of mistakes and carelessness of others. You deserved none of it. You deserve the world. Kindness. Love. Appreciation. Happiness. All of it. I’ve been such a fool, blinded by hate and bitterness I couldn’t even see what a precious pearl was thrown in my lap when you came to Sanditon. No longer. Please, allow me to try and give you all that you deserve today, and every day of your life.’

‘Are you asking me… to marry you?’

‘I am. And we’re not going to let brats like Tom or Edward get in our way this time.’

Her tears burned her cold cheeks as they rolled down.

History was repeating itself.

Only now they were prepared. There was so little room for error. She didn’t dare to be confident in it, but at the same time she refused to give up hope of a future.

‘Charlotte?’ he breathed. ‘Do you want me?’

‘Of course I do’, she answered, struggling to find her voice.

His mouth crossed the small bridge of space that had been left between them, now fully enveloping her in his warm embrace.

All fight left her body as she melted against him. She’d been fighting for so long. Had been unhappy for so long, and had suffered through it almost entirely alone. She couldn’t do it. She wasn’t a pessimist by nature. She needed hope, she needed love. She latched onto him.

_Please let tonight be the final night._

They left not long after, Charlotte accurately predicting the arguing couple once again. Sidney had to smile, and both wondered without answer how she had been able to travel back in time, and what it meant for science, until he dropped her off at the dressmaker. He went to the terrace, issuing a warning that all had to leave the premise since there had to be an overseer at all times, and the Parkers didn’t want work to be done to their property when they weren’t there to check in on it.

By the time she was picked up from the dressmaker, her dress in bag, the overseer had agreed to keep a tight eye on the procedures. Charlotte, still afraid though hopeful asked Sidney not to tell the others yet and asked to drop by Georgiana first. Georgiana was asked to get ready together with Charlotte, and immediately packed her belongings to get ready in the Parker household.

The late afternoon passed in a blur, easily blending into the early evening as Georgiana took Charlotte’s mind off her worries as they got ready for the ball. It felt good to talk to Georgiana, and she was sure that in time, she could perhaps help her and Sidney to being alright with each other. She didn’t want to lose her friend because of her engagement. She loved Georgiana, sharp edges, dark humour and all.

By the time the women trickled downstairs, the men were already downstairs, smoking and drinking whiskey during a game of cards.

‘Tom!’

‘Oh, my dear’, Tom stuttered, dropping his cigar into his glass by surprise.

Mary swallowed away a chuckle, but Georgiana and Charlotte couldn’t stop their sniggers.

‘How beautiful you all look. Let’s leave, won’t we? I’m ravenously hungry.’

The women agreed and as they walked out, Sidney came up to Charlotte to escort her out, as Arthur did to Georgiana.

‘I just passed the terrace. Inspected each room. It’s empty. Unless he goes back now, which is very unlikely.’

Charlotte nodded, relief flooding her system. Finally, finally she could hope. No matter what happened at the ball, the buildings couldn’t burn. Sidney wouldn’t need the money. She was free to love him. Finally. She let out a shaky breath, tightening her grip on his arm.

‘Thank you.’

Finally Charlotte was able to enjoy the ball, immediately starting her dance with Sidney. How good it all felt now. Even the future death of Mr. Stringer and Edward’s eventual appearance couldn’t disturb her. The death she couldn’t help and Edward would be disposed of as quickly as possible. She was allowed to be happy. She’d prevented Tom from debt and was engaged. It _was_ a good day, despite the bad parts.

Mr. Stringer cut in for the second dance, and she accepted him graciously. If he was to lose his father, the least she could do was try to make him as happy as possible today. He would be sad soon enough. They discussed his father’s reaction about which Mr. Stringer was glad he finally understood his father’s hesitancy and his apprenticeship. Charlotte did her best to exclaim how good it would be, dissipated the fears his father had created and overall showed so much support he was glowing by the time the dance ended.

All too soon though, the moment was there. Edward broke in. Eyes wild and hair in disarray. Charlotte stiffened as the musicians grew silent. The cheerful conversation came to an end as he struggled with the servants.

_You’re not going to ruin anyone’s day._

‘Away! Unhand me you laggards!’

Sidney was already moving forward. In the normal timeline he was upstairs with her. But now he could act and speak immediately.

The smile fell from Esther’s face as she turned towards her brother. Charlotte wanted to put an end to it right now. No more suffering. It had been enough. But as a woman without any attachment to the Denhams, she wasn’t in any position to speak.

Cursed be those unwritten rules.

‘Esther, I have been such a fool Esther. That little vixen Clara took advantage of me I must have been mad. Tell me t-‘

‘Tell _me_ why _you_ are here, Denham. You weren’t invited’, Sidney’s voice boomed authoritatively.

‘I’m a free man and this is a free country’, Edward protested, chest swelling with arrogance.

He marched towards Sidney, looming over him with a menacing look.

‘I came to beseech my sister to forgive my silliness. Certainly, a man is allowed to come back on his mistakes and make amends?’ Edward asked, quickly reading the room and seeing violence would not get him what he wanted.

His eyes moved towards Esther, a frown on his face. Charlotte was sure it had to look remorseful, but it only conveyed annoyance.

‘Esther, sweet darling Esther. Please, for the love we harbour for each other, the love I harbour for you.’

Charlotte tensed. That sounded worse than the original, and far more incriminating.

‘You don’t know the meaning of it, Esther responded softly.

Babington surged forward, gripping Edward by the arm. Sidney shot into action, taking a gold of Edward’s other arm.

‘Lady Denham?’ enquired Sidney.

‘Off with him, I told him to get out of Sanditon after his shameful behaviour with my blonde niece’, Lady Denham ordered, trying to clarify that nothing had happened between Edward and Esther.

‘No no!’ Edward protested over the sound of Babington repeating his request he leave.

‘Only if she tells me to!’ he cried as he tore himself away from them.

_Oh no, it’s happening again, despite Sidney trying to stop him immediately. Edward still found a way to ruin it._

‘Esther’, Edward pleaded.

Esther though, wasn’t intending to repeat her victimized state.

‘Some mistakes can’t be forgiven. Especially if one doesn’t regret them at all. Just leave’, Esther said icily.

Edward was flabbergasted by his sister’s response, mouth falling open. All decorum and control flew out of the window now that he lost his last chance at fortune.

‘You whore! You filthy slut. You discard me just like that? After everything we’ve been through? And here I thought you were a romantic with all your stupid little dreams and ridiculous hopes, but no you discard me for the first rich man you come across!’

Every word seemed to cut deeper into Esther’s steely façade that cracked, revealing the eggshell skin she had underneath. To Charlotte it meant nothing, but judging by Esther’s growing anguish he was dancing right over all her emotions.

He was bouncing in Lord Babington’s and Sidney’s arms as they dragged him away.

‘Mr. Parker, would you be good enough to put this man on the next coach back to London?’ Lady Denham requested coolly.

‘She’ll turn on you too, Babington. Just you wait. A horrid opportunist just like my aunt!’

Edward’s voice fell away as Sidney and Babington dragged him into the hall.

With a sob, Esther ran off.

That was the cue for Charlotte’s part. She immediately went after Esther, pushing through the mass towards where she knew Esther would be.

‘Hey, Esther, Miss Denham’, she called in a gentle voice.

Esther stopped walking. Her body still moving on the waves of swallowed sobs.

‘It’s not true. I’m not a whore.’

‘We know you aren’t.’

‘How would you know? It’s just his word against mine.’

‘The word of a philanderer against yours.’

‘He said after everything we’ve been through. As if he supported me. I was supporting him. I did everything for him. When our parents died I did the finances, I took over the management of Denham Place. He went to school and gambled with our money. And then he comes… and uses my feelings against me. Pretending I’m the cheater. I’m the… the betrayer.’

‘Shh, it’s alright now. He’s gone.’

‘He’s gone but he got what he wanted. My name is ruined. Now for sure my aunt will disinherit me and no one will want me. He couldn’t get it so now he made sure I couldn’t get it either.’

‘You’re not ruined. I’m… I’m sure Lady Denham will understand.’

She had in the past, Charlotte remembered. Esther and Lady Denham had actually grown closer between the ball and her wedding.

‘Why would she, she could be hard before.’

‘I know. But certainly she has some fairness in her heart?’

Esther quieted, her sobs becoming more interspersed. ‘She did try to help us all before, but she sure was cold and snarky about it.’

‘That’s Lady Denham.’

‘It is.’

Esther turned around, swallowing.

‘Why are you being kind to me?’

‘Because you are in need of it. And you deserve it. Nobody deserves it to be treated that way, especially when they didn’t do anything wrong.’

‘I’m not a mercenary. I’m not. I swear. I never even deliberately… I stayed away from Lord Babington but he just kept coming back. I rejected him even, because Edward wanted to. It was only when Edward so clearly didn’t care for me at all that I allowed myself to… to…’

Charlotte’s eyes grew large. She’d never known. She’d been pretty oblivious to their entire courtship, had even been surprised by their seemingly out of the blue engagement. But she’d just put it down to being so occupied by other things.

Esther had sacrificed a shot at being a wealthy lady for Edward. While Charlotte had been sacrificing her happiness for the man she loved, Esther had been doing the same.

‘But now he won’t have me either. I was already far below him. But after this disgrace… He’s a lord for heaven’s sake.’

‘Maybe he understands. I’m sure a drunk philanderer won’t sway him too much.’

‘He’s friends with a drunk philanderer’, Esther noted dryly.

Charlotte bit her lip, but couldn’t help but smile.

Esther too cracked a smirk.

‘All will be alright.’

‘I doubt it.’

‘In time then. Perhaps everyone gets wildly drunk tonight and forgets all about it.’

‘I can only hope’, Esther sighed.

‘You’re very kind. I know I’m notoriously bad at speaking to people and staying in touch. But I really like you. I’m sorry that… after the Edward and Clara fiasco in the garden…’

‘It’s fine’, Charlotte calmed her.

Before she could say much else, the curtain rustled, Lord Babington appearing.

‘There, you see’, Charlotte whispered. She laid a last comforting hand on Esther’s shoulder before she took off to give them privacy. Perhaps, despite the changes, all could still end well for them.

Sidney was awaiting her on the other side.

‘And?’

‘She’s in a bad shape.’

Sidney nodded.

‘I had no idea… The audacity. I can’t believe he was even worse the first time.’

‘Actually… It was worse this time. At least in my opinion.’

Sidney blanched.

‘It was?’

‘Yes. He switched tactics due to our interference. He didn’t manage to get that much insults across the first time.’

‘Damned.’

‘We did what we thought was best. We couldn’t know.’

Sidney nodded, offering his arm to Charlotte. His face was dark as they walked through the room, the atmosphere of their conversation in stark contrast to the joyful room that was pretending the last thirty minutes hadn’t happened.

‘I hope we haven’t permanently changed things’, Charlotte worried.

Sidney nodded.

‘But he’s gone now. At least. And while we escorted Edward, I quickly ran up to check the terrace. All is still dark and intact. The buildings are safe, at least.’

Despite that Charlotte had been pretty sure Sanditon was – at least literally – saved the moment the buildings were emptied, it comforted her to know that at the moment when they usually discovered the buildings were burning, all was peaceful.

Which meant…

‘So we can really…’

‘Marry. No Mrs. Campion. Ever. From now on Mary and I will keep Tom in check so that our family can never be placed in a similar situation’, he shared, giving her a comforting smile.

Charlotte nodded, allowing herself to smile in response.

‘So, my dear fiancée. Now that we are out of peril, care for a dance?’

‘A second dance? Soon the people will start thinking there’s an attachment between us’, Charlotte teased.

Her stomach still felt a bit uneasy after the turbulent three days, but she wanted to smile. She wanted to joke. She wanted things to be easy. She had never been able to enjoy the ball, in all the four times she’d attended it. But now what else was there to do? All that could go wrong was past them now. She had done all that was in her might. The rest was up in God’s hands, so there was no use in worrying.

‘Good, in that case might I request the one after as well? Spares us a lot of time announcing it.’

She had to laugh as he pulled her towards the dance floor, bowing deeply before her.

She could only shake her head with a smile as he swept her up into the cotillon.


	5. A prayer to the Stars

> _**“My characters shall have, after a little trouble, all that they desire.”** _
> 
> _**—Jane Austen** _

The maid knocked on the door.

Charlotte startled awake. Her body was hot and her eyes glued shut from sleep.

The ball!

She shot upright, rubbing her eyes.

_Please be the twenty-fifth. Please, I don’t know what to change anymore. I’ve done all I can._

Opening her eyes, she immediately looked to the floor and chair.

Gone.

A heavy stone dropped on her stomach.

No, not again.

It was June twenty-fourth again.

She’d lost. She still hadn’t succeeded in helping Sanditon and herself. The first sob was already pressing against the back of her throat. The dressing up with Georgiana hadn’t happened, she wasn’t engaged and her effort to help Mr. Stringer was for naught.

What had she done to deserve this fate? She couldn’t possibly repeat this day for all of eternity. Never moving on, never experiencing something new. She couldn’t do it. She’d go mad.

‘Miss?’

‘I’m sorry, give me a minute.’

She rubbed the tears from her eyes and left her bed.

‘Come in.’

The maid come in, smiling happily. What was she smiling for? It was an awful day. A cursed day.

‘I already washed your white dress, Miss’, she declared.

In her arms she carried the damned white dress she’d worn so many times on this day.

‘Yes, lovely.’

‘So, what do you wish to wear today Miss? It’s a good deal colder than yesterday.’

Charlotte frowned.

That wasn’t the script she usually stuck to. And was the twenty-fourth colder than the twenty-third? She had no idea, it had been months since the twenty-third, at least in her mind, she couldn’t recall. Perhaps this was what the maid said if Charlotte refused to wake up at first.

‘Perhaps your white dress and green spencer? It does look lovely with your eyes, doesn’t it? Or perhaps your sand coloured coat would be better suited for the weather.’

Not the dotted dress? Charlotte blinked. The sand coloured pelisse was what she’d worn the day after the fire.

‘I- um. Yes, warm is fine.’

‘Alright then, I’ll take a dress with long sleeves for you.’

Not the plan.

Could… Could it be true? Had time moved on?

Charlotte didn’t even dare ask. She couldn’t bear to hear her worst fears confirmed.

After she was dressed she hesitantly went downstairs. Now she would discover, she couldn’t avoid it anymore.

There were no children running through the house, all was eerily quiet. As if the house was holding its breath alongside her. Mary would undoubtedly be in the breakfast room, so she pushed it open quickly to avoid getting cold feet.

Eight pairs of eyes looked up at her. The three children, Mary, Tom, Diana, Arthur and Sidney looked up at her.

Never in all possible timelines she’d explored had this happened. Nor was there a reason why it would happen. Which could only mean…

‘Oh, Charlotte dear, you’re up. Care to join us for breakfast?’ Mary asked with a smile.

Charlotte wordlessly fell into the chair across Sidney.

‘And, Charlotte. What did you think of our ball? Wasn’t it fine?’ Tom asked.

‘Yes. Very nice’, Charlotte answered dazedly.

She had done it. She’d broken the loop. Time had moved on.

‘I heard that Miss Denham got engaged with Lord Babington, I saw you following her around yesterday. Are you friends? You must convince her to marry in Sanditon. That will really put Sanditon on the map. A lord marrying in this fine place.’

‘Tom!’ hissed Mary, shaking her head fondly.

‘Well she has to marry anyway, it’s only up to where. Why not here? Her aunt is also very invested in building up Sanditon.’

‘Let’s not put pressure on that poor girl, alright?’

‘Yes, very well. Good point. Well, I suppose that we’ll have a big wedding in Sanditon very soon anyway. Don’t we Sidney? Now that Mrs. Campion is single and has her eyes set on you’, Tom smiled.

Charlotte cringed, quietly accepting the tea that was poured into her cup.

She was startled by a soft tap against her foot. Eyes flying up, she met Sidney’s comforting gaze.

‘Actually, Tom, I have no interest in pursuing Mrs. Campion at all.’

‘Oh, I just thought. Well, there never was another woman. I thought you would take that second chance.’

‘But there is another woman.’

He was waiting for her sign to go, she realized.

A drop of tea spilled from her cup as she tried to hold her hands still. Nobody talked about a fire. They had successfully prevented it. Nothing stood in their way now.

She gave a soft nod, putting down her tea.

‘I asked Miss Heywood to become my wife.’

‘What, Miss Hey- Charlotte!’ Tom cried at the same time as Mary congratulated them and Arthur excitedly started clapping in his hands.

A laugh bubbled in her chest, slipping out in tiny hiccups as the children started talking in their high-pitched excited voices.

‘Uncle Sidney are you going to marry Charlotte?’

‘Is Charlotte becoming our aunt?’

‘Does that mean she’s staying?’

‘Miss Heywood are you staying with us?’

‘Yes’, Sidney answered to Henry and Jenny.

‘I suppose it does’, Charlotte answered Alicia.

Sidney and Charlotte looked up at each other from across the table. The times were changing. And finally, finally, Charlotte allowed herself to smile widely and stretch out her hand towards him.

It didn’t have to be a secret anymore. They’d conquered the cursed day. Sidney took her hand in his rough and warm one.

There was still a lot left undecided. Sidney would have to travel for work. It wasn’t certain at all whether they’d take up residence in Sanditon or London. And she would have to say goodbye to all her siblings. The august she’d gotten following the first twenty-fourth was an august they’d never get to spend together, unless they waited to marry.

But it didn’t matter. They could sort it out. Adventure and challenges had always been alluring to her. They had an infinite realm of possibilities to explore.

Everyone asked questions about the how and why and when, Sidney graciously answered most of them, until he decided it had been enough and took Charlotte away from them for a walk.

‘Are you alright, Charlotte?’

‘I admit for a second this morning, I feared the day had begun again.’

‘Luckily that isn’t the case.’

‘Luckily.’

‘It was alright to tell them, wasn’t it?’

‘Yes, yes of course it was. And it was the right moment too.’

‘That Tom had to start speaking about that woman’, Sidney sighed.

‘It’s fine. If we’re lucky, we’ll never have to see her again.’

‘Or marry her’, Sidney noted with amusement.

‘Yes, indeed.’

‘It’s a fine day.’

‘Yes, far superior to the twenty-fourth. I suppose the only thing that would make it happier would be if…’

‘Mr. Stringer?’

Charlotte nodded.

‘Want to drop by him?’

Charlotte nodded quietly, allowing Sidney to escort her through the street. But to her surprise their house was empty.

‘He wouldn’t have gone to work. Would he?’

‘Let’s take a look. I’m planning on dropping by every few hours until it is completely finished. I won’t allow all your effort to go to waste because of a fire or an accident on the twenty-fifth.’

Charlotte nodded. The building still wasn’t insured. They would have to stay vigilant.

As they approached they could see all the workers sitting outside on the ground, on the stairs or on the terrace, eating their lunch pies and talking amiably. Charlotte tried to recognize faces between the mass of drab brown clothes.

‘There. Charlotte, look.’

Sidney pointed towards a pair of stairs near the third apartment.

Charlotte halted.

Mr. Stringer was sitting right next to his father, watching a pair of men animatedly tell a story.

‘But how?’ Charlotte stammered.

‘How did you say he died again?’

‘I don’t know, he had no wounds. I never figured out.’

‘Could he have fallen from a ladder?’

‘No. Then he would have had bruises or something. And from such a low ladder? I doubt it.’

‘So it was internal.’

‘Probably.’

‘Could it have been stress or exhaustion?’

‘Perhaps.’

‘Perhaps a night’s rest has done him good. ‘

‘I guess. I didn’t suspect. I guess we’ll never know’, Charlotte concluded.

She couldn’t believe it. She’d fully accepted that he’d die. What a pleasant surprise! She’d managed to help everyone: Esther, Tom, Old Stringer, Young Stringer and herself.

And all were off happier and better than in the original timeline.

What a perfect wish she’d made.

She hooked her arm through Sidney’s.

‘Let’s go to the sea’, she suggested.

As they strolled away from the scene, Charlotte quietly thanked her lucky stars.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> That's it. Short and sweet.   
> I hope you all enjoyed <3


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